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Some of you might want to add variety to your Thanksgiving dinner conversation for those of you who are mischievous:

• During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

• Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos.

• Bring a recorded football game from years ago, when no one is looking, put it on and see if anyone notices

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