* Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work,
* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
* Your back goes out more often than you do.
* You know all the answers but no one asks the questions.
* Your mind makes agreements your body can't keep.
* You finally get it all together and then you can't remember where you put it.
* You can't seem to get around to procrastinating.
* You don't need an alarm clock to get up at 6 a.m.
* The only whistles you get are from the kettle on the stove.
* You feel like the morning after and you haven't even been any place.
* Anything under 50p isn't worth bending over to pick up.
* Your pacemaker opens the garage door whenever you see a pretty lady go by.
* The gleam in your eye is just the sun reflecting on your bifocals.
* You stop to think and sometimes you can't get started again.
* You sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak and they stay there.
* You finally make it to the top of the ladder but it's leaning against the wrong wall.
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