* Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work,
* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
* Your back goes out more often than you do.
* You know all the answers but no one asks the questions.
* Your mind makes agreements your body can't keep.
* You finally get it all together and then you can't remember where you put it.
* You can't seem to get around to procrastinating.
* You don't need an alarm clock to get up at 6 a.m.
* The only whistles you get are from the kettle on the stove.
* You feel like the morning after and you haven't even been any place.
* Anything under 50p isn't worth bending over to pick up.
* Your pacemaker opens the garage door whenever you see a pretty lady go by.
* The gleam in your eye is just the sun reflecting on your bifocals.
* You stop to think and sometimes you can't get started again.
* You sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak and they stay there.
* You finally make it to the top of the ladder but it's leaning against the wrong wall.
Related Text Illustrations
Contributed by Steve Malone on May 14, 2001
Contributed by Arlyn Shaeffer on Feb 26, 2003
Contributed by Luis Marquez on Jun 10, 2008
Todos vamos para viejos, pero lo importante es llegar a viejo y llegar con resultados. Hoy queremos destacar a aquellos adultos que han corrido bien la carrera de la vida, a aquellos que están con nosotros y nos han servido de ejemplo. Aquellos que