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I spent some time this week looking on the computer at actual excuses people use, or have used, or might someday use, to miss church. Here are a few: I missed church because the little guy had a cold. The whole family had to stay home to blow his nose! - I missed church last Sunday because there was a sermon in the radio - I had to miss Church because the kids wanted to sleep in - I couldn’t go to church today because I had a flat on the car and didn’t think we could all fit in the truck - I just had this feeling I shouldn’t be there - Church gives me gas! - I’ve worked all week so I’m too tired to go! - There are too many hypocrites in church - There are too many sinners in church - I’m too young - I’ll go when I’m too old to have any more fun - It’s boring - I’m not good enough - I’m still a sinner - I’ll go to church after I stop smoking, drinking, cussin’, etc. - I work six days a week. The seventh day belongs to me - The Sabbath day is Saturday, not Sunday - I don’t get up in time on Sunday morning - Why should I give my money to some church? - I don’t want to be around a bunch of bible thumpers - I don’t like the songs we have to sing - It’s too cold in there, why don’t they turn up the heat - It’s too hot, why don’t they get air conditioning - The air conditioner is too loud - I worship God at home when I’m alone - My wife doesn’t go, so why should I? - My husband doesn’t go, so why should I? - My family never went to church when I was a kid - Jesus wasn’t a blue eyed white man - I can’t find a baby sitter on Sunday - The songs are too old - Nobody notices when I’m gone anyway - I don’t go to church on Sunday because getting the kids dressed in their Sunday Best first thing in the morning makes me cuss - I don’t go to church cause I have a feeling that God doesn’t like agnostics - Veni, Vidi, Non-Velcro (I came, I Saw, I didn’t stick around.) - The devil made me do it! - I didn’t miss church. In fact I had quite a good time without coming to church - I didn’t go to church because I had a dream. God was in it and he said not to go! - I didn’t miss church; I found a new Church. It’s a wonderful Church: no singing, no sit-stand-kneel, it’s very peaceful. Every Sunday you can faithfully find me at Bedroom Baptist with Pastor Pillow. (www.members.tripod.com/Madtbone/)

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