The Following (Adapted)was Actually Written By A ...

The following (adapted)was actually written by a Talmudic Scholar and takes place between Billy Graham and an Angel:

(1) “Reservation Angel: This is the Heaven Inn Hotel. How can I help you today?

Billy: Hello. This is Billy Graham. I’m calling to confirm my reservation.

RA: Do you have a confirmation number or a date of arrival?

Billy: C’mon now. I’ve been calling in daily for nearly sixty years. Don’t you go askin me for a number now.

RA: (accent) Sorry sir. I’m a new outsourced reservation angel. I am not actually in Heaven. I’m in Hyderabad.

Billy: Lord, help me now. All I know is, I expect to be there soon and, I for sure will be seeing Jesus....

Angel: Sir, all our rooms in the Constantine” (Buckeye, or fill in blank) “Wing have at least a partial Jesus-view.

Billy: No, no. I’m expecting to be really near Him. I’m the world’s leading evangelical preacher.

Angel: Sir, I can upgrade you, but only if you have a Holy Roller Club number?

Billy: Again with the numbers. No numbers. This is the Reverend Billy Graham!

Angel: I’ll see if I can put you on the Eschatology Level near the Salvation Suite with express redemption service and our complimentary wine and wafers buffet.

Billy: Listen, I don’t think you hear me. Do we have a bad connection? ... No wafers, no wafers.

Angel: Reverend, are you interested in our all-inclusive-package? It offers unlimited fish and loaves ...”

Billy: Yes, yes, now we are getting somewhere. Get me inscribed for that.

Angel: I can hold this reservation until your real expiration date.

Billy: Okay, okay. Now give me directions to the hotel from the Pearly Gates.

Angel: Surely. May I recommend that you take our complimentary Heaven Inn shuttle. Just pick up the courtesy phone at Pearly Gate number one. We will send our hybrid-limo to get you. Or you can take the mono-theism rail to our front door.

Billy: I’ll get back to you then to firm this up after I check one alternative. Y’see I get all these” (email) “messages from my friends, the deceased former presidents and politicians, saying that there’s another eternal location that’s got really hot package deals.”

(1)– Tzvee’s Talmudic Blog, 7/31/05 http://tzvee.blogspot.com/2005/07/billy-graham-your-confirmation-number.html