Sermon Illustrations

DO WE KNOW THE PESSIMIST’S CREED?

THINK, IF THE PESSIMIST HAD A CREED WHAT WOULD IT BE?

ALL BUT ME AND THEE!

THE PESSIMIST CREED!

By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr.

Why rejoice in sunshine?

It will just turn to dark clouds and much rain!

Besides that, the sunshine can hurt your eyes,

More than that it can cause skin cancer!

Why should I smile?

A smile might send a wrong message to a friend?

A frown will burn more calories, we all know!

Smiles might wrinkle my face?

I don’t want to advertise for free for the dentist,

Because his fee was much too high!

If I smile everyone will wonder what I am thinking about?

Why should I give a friend a flower?

Flowers might cause an infection of my sinus glands?

Flowers cost so much, and you can’t eat them?

The beauty of the flower will soon fade!

A silk flower will but gather dust!

Besides all of that, I didn’t get a flower today?

Why should I whistle, hum or sing?

I don’t know the song!

That song is too slow,

And that song is way too fast!

How can we sing in a strange land?

I can’t sing, someone may think I am glad.

Why should I go to Sunday School and Church?

You know, I know more than that teacher,

he just reads out of the book!

The Preacher screams and wags his arms.

He preaches the everlasting Gospel.

That preacher, all he does is talk about money!

I gave two dollars three weeks ago,

Ain’t that enough?

All there are at that church are hypocrites!

Why should I encourage and say nice things to others?

If I brag on someone they will get a BIG HEAD!

And pride always goes before the fall.

I remember something negative 22 years ago about them!

Want me to tell you?

It is always good to be realistic and pessimistic,

Because the optimist is wrong much of the time!

I find it much easier to murmur, grumble and complain.

Praise ain’t all it is cracked up to be.

I like this grumblers corner!

Can’t you see there is something wrong

With everybody but me and thee!

And to be honest, sometimes I worry about thee!

IF YOU ARE DOG-TIRED MAYBE YOU GROWLED ALL DAY?