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I have found that there are two ways of getting angry. One of them I call the “microwave oven” anger. A microwave, as we all know, heats things up in a hurry; but I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but it seems there is an “equal and opposite” principle at work also, and food heated in a microwave tends to lose its heat more rapidly. This kind of anger is one that flares up quickly, has its say, and then just as quickly cools off and goes away. The other kind of anger I call the “conventional oven” kind of anger. It takes much longer for this kind of anger to get aroused; but once it is heated up, it will also take this kind much longer to cool off. Most people, I have found, usually fit into one category or the other.

It was a difficult circumstance when I got married eleven years ago, and woke up one day to realize that something had happened to that sweet girl I thought I had married. And when she got angry, it was always the quick-flare kind, and it was quicker than anyone I had ever met. It took some major adjustments to learn how to handle that, because I had always been the slow-burn type. Mine will simmer and stew for days if I allow it. She can be absolutely livid with me to the point that I figure “well, there goes the week,” and then twenty minutes later be back to friendly conversation. It took me a long time to realize just what was going on with that, and it was just one of those differences we get used to. And I don’t suppose I have to tell anyone here which of the two is the healthier form of anger.

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