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THE MEN’S THESAURUS (men don’t always say what they mean) – excerpts:

When a man says: "IT’S A GUY THING"

He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"

When a man says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR"

He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response.

When a man says "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

He means: "I have no idea how it works"

When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’

He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"

When a man says "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

He means: " I can hum every bar of the intro to Star Trek – original and TNG; the address of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned – but I forgot your birthday"

When a man says ’OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL"

He means: "I have...

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