There's A Joke About A Man Who Was A Keen Church ...

There’s a joke about a man who was a keen church goer. The pillar of the church.

I looked up pillar of the church in my A-Z of Christianity: a big thick thing that holds everything up and restricts vision.

(From Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation by Adrian Plass published by Authentic – a very funny book)

Although he put lots of money in the collection and the building fund (because he was quite well off) he was very critical of everyone else in the church and outside church you’d never believe he was a Christian at all.

He dies and arrives at the gates of heaven and St Peter – the man with the key looks at the computer print out (or big parchment book if you want the King James Version) for the day and says, “Sorry, you have no place here – you are due in the other place – through the door and down the stairs – mind how you go it’s hot.”

The man says that there must be a mistake – ““Oi I’m not standing here talking to the monkey – get me the organ grinder. – Go check again with God”. St Peter disappears and comes back again. “No – no mistake through the door and down the stairs – mind how you go it’s hot.”

The man gets angry, he says “Tell God it’s ME, I was the one that put hundreds of pounds in the building fund, I put notes in the collection every week – no coins – God has made a mistake – go and tell him”

St Peter disappears and then comes back. He says, “Yes you are right, I pointed out just how much money you gave over the years and God has admitted that he made a mistake,. He says here’s your money back - Through the door and down the stairs – mind how you go it’s hot.”

You can’t buy your way into heaven