Sermon Illustrations

A Marriage Confession

I have a confession to make this morning. I am really not sure how to say this to you. I am embarrassed, ashamed, and really fearful of what you might think of me once you know the truth. I must confess to you this morning that my wife, Ronda, and I have irreconcilable differences. After more than 30 years of marriage, I am sure that these differences cannot be resolved. While the differences between us have rarely caused heated arguments, they are often dealt with on a daily basis. These differences can bring a sigh to the voice and sometimes frustration to one or both of us.

It has come to the point that I must get this off my chest. As your pastor, I need to let you know what we are dealing with. Please allow me to continue my confession of these irreconcilable differences. And I beg your understanding and forgiveness.

First of all, I confess to you that my seat-buckling habits can drive Ronda up the wall. She is religious about buckling her seat-belt BEFORE starting the car. I mean she does it FIRST thing, as soon as she closes the door. Sometimes she even does it BEFORE the door closes. I'm sorry, but I rarely buckle that belt before starting the car. I can't help it. I guess I like the chime and the little red light flashing at me. Please forgive me, but I have even been known to put the car in gear and, yes, even round the corner before getting my seat-belt fastened. I don't believe that my wife and I will ever agree on this!

The other irreconcilable difference between Ronda and I is far more drastic and daily than the seat belt problem. I've just noticed this recently, but my wife is a bottom-of-the-tube squeezer when it comes to toothpaste. I squeeze mine right in the middle. I know she thinks I'm crazy, but I don't want to waste time pushing the toothpaste up from the bottom. I have to tell you how bad it is: she has now placed one of those clamps at the bottom of the tube, forcing me to take extra time pushing the paste up to the top! How many of you squeeze your toothpaste tube from the bottom up? See, knowing that makes you and I have an irreconcilable difference!

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