THE IDEAL PASTOR
The ideal pastor is difficult to find. But if your church is fortunate, you may be able to secure his services. Since he is the ideal pastor, it won’t cost very much - he lives by faith. Yet he can be counted upon to tithe heavily and still be able to afford a large house in which he will regularly entertain the entire congregation.
He loves the older folks of the church, visiting them regularly. Besides this, he spends all of his time with the young people. The glow on his face reveals his secret. He’s spent many hours on his knees before God. However, he’s always available to anyone who drops by for a friendly chat. What’s a half-hour out of his schedule since he only works on Sunday anyway.
The ideal pastor loves to disciple new converts and gives full-time attention to calling on the elderly, ill, and shut-in. He has a model family, is always in the church office when you call and is busy at the hospital, just looking for a soul to comfort. He would never miss a church function, and attends every function sponsored by the ministerial association. In addition, he meets all his neighbors and civic leaders within the community and wins their hearts too.
The ideal pastor has a worldwide ministry through television, radio, tapes, and books and he travels extensively preaching the Word. He still has time, however, to listen to everyone’s problems and wants to be updated on the progress of your bunions and backaches.
The ideal pastor is only 29 and has been preaching 30 years. He preaches sermons that win the hearts of the lost and inspire the minds of the mature. He evangelizes like Billy Graham, has the eloquence of Spurgeon and the fervor of Moody. Yet he is so profoundly simple that even preschoolers are blessed. Even the teenagers take notes on his sermons.
The ideal pastor is tall, short, lean, and husky, with brown hair and blond hair. He even has one brown eye and one blue eye. He has a deep, resonant voice which, because it is quietly loud, pleases everyone and is audible to the hard of hearing. He can sing, lead music, and delegates authority to everyone. Besides this, he helps each layman and does all the things other people are too busy to do. In short, he keeps the entire church and each family running smoothly.
There’s an amazing trend happening in our day & age. External charisma is winning out over internal holiness. The outside of the man has become more important than what’s inside. And when a man falls, many fall with him. God’s precious sheep are ripped off by a lot of hoopla & hype.
Sorry to say, in many churches it seems that the pastor just can’t do anything right. No matter how sincere he may be or how hard he tries, there are always some who stand ready to find fault and criticize.
Someone has described it this way: If the pastor is young, he lacks experience; if his hair is gray, he’s too old for the young people. If he has five or six children, he has too many; if he has none, he’s setting a bad example. If he preaches from notes, he has canned sermons and is dry; if his messages are extemporaneous, he isn’t deep enough. If he caters to the poor in the church, he’s playing to the grandstand; if he pays attention to the wealthy, he’s trying to be an aristocrat. If he uses too many illustrations, he’s neglecting the Bible; if he doesn’t include stories, he isn’t clear. If he fails to please everybody, he’s hurting the church and should leave; if he does make them all happy, he has no convictions. If he drives an old car, he shames his congregation; if he buys a new one, he’s setting his affection on earthly things. If he preaches all the time, the congregation gets tired of hearing just one man; if he invites guest ministers, he’s shirking his responsibility. If he receives a large salary, he’s mercenary; if he gets a small one, they say it proves he isn’t worth much anyway. If he condemns wrong, he’s cranky; if he doesn’t preach against sin, the claim he’s a compromiser. If he preaches the truth, he’s too offensive; if he doesn’t present the "whole counsel of God," he’s a hypocrite.
Now you know why I’m ready for a nervous breakdown.
From a sermon by Ed Taylor, "Introduction to 1 Timothy" 8/1/2008
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