WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear."
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Honey, why don’t you turn off the basketball game and let’s just sit and talk."
WHAT SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND SAY, "It’s your lot in life to stop whatever it is you’re doing in order to serve my every need!"
WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAID, "Honey, do you know if we have any more triple-A batteries?"
WHAT SHE HEARD HIM SAY, "Life as we know it will cease to exist unless you can alter the space-time continuum!"
WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAID, "Honey, are you almost ready?"
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "I’m going to make you wish you were dead for the rest of the week."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Tell me the truth, honey. Do I look fat in this?"
Related Sermon Illustrations
Contributed by Charles Salmon on Aug 18, 2004
Shakespeare on mercy (From the Merchant of Venice) The quality of mercy is not strain’d, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes: ’Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes The throned monarch ...read more
Contributed by Bill Huffhine on May 27, 2004
Every year the movie industry comes together for a massive celebration and awards ceremony. All of Hollywood looks forward to the night early in the year where they can come together and honor one another for the work that had been done during the previous year. It’s a really a fascinating thing ...read more
Contributed by Joseph Colebank Ii on Jan 19, 2005
WITH OUR ARMS ABOUT THEIR KNEES “Have you no wish for others to be saved? Then you are not saved yourself. Be sure of that…. The saving of souls, if a man has once gained love to perishing sinners and his blessed Master, wil be an all-absorbing passion to him. It will so carry him away, that he ...read more
Contributed by Ed Wood on Feb 14, 2003
American Gail Devers won the 100-meter dash by only 6/100 of a second over her four top competitors in 1992. Gail suffers from Grave’s disease. Just one year before she won the Olympic gold, Gail came within two days of having both feet amputated. After surviving that scare, she began to train ...read more
Contributed by Thomas Cash on May 19, 2004
While Secretary of State during the Regan presidency, George Shultz kept a large globe in his office. When newly appointed ambassadors had an interview with him and when ambassadors returning from their posts for their first visit with him were leaving his office, Shultz would test them. He would ...read more