Sermon Illustrations

A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out.

A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: "I FEEL for you, down there."

An OBJECTIVE person came along and said:

"It’s logical that someone would fall, down there."

A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came along:

"You only THINK that you are in a pit."

A PHARISEE said:

"Only BAD people fall into a pit."

A MATHEMATICIAN

calculated HOW he fell into the pit.

A NEWS REPORTER

wanted the exclusive story on his pit.

CONFUCIUS said;

"If you would have listened to me, you would not be in that pit."

BUDDHA said:

"Your pit is only a state of mind."

A REALIST said:

"That’s a PIT."

A SCIENTIST

calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./sq.in.) to get him out of the pit.

A GEOLOGIST

told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.

AN EVOLUTIONIST said:

"You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle." In other words, he is going to DIE in the pit, so that he cannot produce any "pit-falling offspring."

The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked if he had a permit to dig a pit.

A PROFESSOR gave him a lecture on: "The Elementary Principles of the Pit."

An EVASIVE person came along and avoided the subject of his pit altogether

A SELF-PITYING person said:

"You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen MY PIT!!"

An OPTIMIST said:

"Things COULD be worse."

A PESSIMIST said:

"Things WILL get worse!!"

JESUS, seeing the man, took him by the hand and LIFTED HIM OUT of the pit.

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