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The most influential person in my life was a man by the name of Charles. He was the pastor of the church where I went as a teenager. You may have heard me talk about Charles before, and, if you have, you may remember that he taught me how to drive, he helped me learn a trade and gave me my first job, and he was my mentor all throughout high school. If I had a problem, I went to him. If I had spare time, I wanted to spend it with him. If I could be close to anybody, I wanted it to be him. At that time in my life, there was no one in the world that I wanted to be more like. He was my ideal. He was for me the example of what every man should want to be. And I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to be like him so much that I began to take on some of his idiosyncrasies. Unconsciously, you understand! But I took them on nonetheless. Even the less desirable ones. For example, there was this thing he did with his face. He kind of flared his nostrils and wiggled his nose. He didn’t have a mustache, but it was like he did, and it was like he was always shaking it. I don’t know whether he was aware of doing it or not, but he did it incessantly.

I wanted to be like this man so much, that, without being aware that I was doing it, I started scrunching my nose and wiggling it. And one day I caught myself doing it. Or, maybe I should say, somebody else caught me doing it. I was at the church, and I popped my head just inside the office door to speak to the secretary, and with her looking at me, I did 'the Charles thing.' I wrinkled my nose and wiggled it. We were both surprised. And I was embarrassed. And I realized in that moment that, to imitate the man I admired so much, didn’t mean I had to imitate everything he did!

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