Contributed by Sermoncentral on Apr 16, 2002
A River Funny
A preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great fervor: "If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river."
The congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river."
Even as dark clouds of depression hang somberly above the American economy (is anyone not aware?), we do see some "silver linings" of humour in them.
For instance take this self-deprecatory cartoon humour of a bulging, balding entrepreneur quite used to striking big business
Contributed by Greg Cooper on Jul 15, 2002
Minister, Funny: THE CHAIN LETTER
The chairman of the Church Board received the following chain letter in the mail:
"This chain letter is meant to bring you happiness. Unlike other chain letters, it does not cost money.
"Sit down and make a list of five other churches that are tired of their
I am told that an Indiana cemetery has a tombstone that is over 100 years old which bears the following epitaph:
"Pause, stranger, when you pass me by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you will be. So prepare for death and follow me."
An unknown passerby read those
Contributed by Mark Brunner on Mar 12, 2006
A funny thing happened in Darlington, Maryland, several years ago. Edith, a mother of eight, was coming home from a neighbor’s house one Saturday afternoon. Things seemed too quiet as she walked across her front yard. Curious, she peered through the screen door and saw five of her youngest children
Contributed by David Yarbrough on Apr 21, 2003
Hope is a funny thing. It comes so easy to some people--maybe too easy. Milton Berle told a story about those kinds of people, about how hope can triumph over good sense.
Four widows were playing cards in the retirement home they lived in. A good-looking older fellow walks in, bags under each
It is a funny thing I have observed about boys. They love to do things, and they especially love to do what ever they see their fathers doing. They want to help. And the wise father will figure out a way to let the son help out in some way that is consistent with his age and skill level.
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Apr 12, 2007
"It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the
Contributed by Bob Gomez on Jan 8, 2008
There’s a funny story about a man who went to the doctor after weeks of symptoms.
a. The doctor examined him carefully, then called the patient’s wife into his office.
- The doctor told her, "Your husband is suffering from a rare form of anemia."
- "The bad news is that without
Contributed by Brian La Croix on Jun 10, 2009
Here are some funny philosophies I found while working on this message:
“To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.”
“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Apr 12, 2007
Its a funny thing you work all your life toward a certain goal and them
r Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won’t be there. Stephen. Age 8
Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 7
Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if
Contributed by John Hamby on Jul 24, 2001
Charles Swindoll says, “To walk by faith does not mean that we stop thinking. To trust God does not imply becoming slovenly or lazy or apathetic. What a distortion of biblical faith! You and I need to trust God for our finances, but that is no license to spend foolishly. You and I ought to trust
Contributed by Edwin Amundson on Jul 30, 2002
A man left work one Friday afternoon. But instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend fishing with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife and was barraged for nearly 2 hours with a tirade of
Contributed by Ken Kersten on Jun 3, 2003
Ways to know your church is unfriendly.
When the sign out front says – For members only
When the parking lot has a sign that says – unauthorized vehicles will be towed at owners expense.
When the church lobby has a sign that says – no loitering
When you say “Praise the Lord”
Contributed by Andrew Chan on May 17, 2001
Have you ever heard of the woman who hated Mother’s Day? According to the Toronto Star’s website, there was such a woman. If you think the spirit of Mother’s Day has been spoiled by the commercialism of cards, flowers and once-a-year sincerity, you stand united with the woman credited with giving
Contributed by Peter Loughman on Dec 15, 2008
HOW TO GET KICKED OUT OF CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS EVE
Christmas Eve 1990. I came this close to being physically thrown out of church.
We were new to town and we heard that a certain church in town had a fantastic Christmas Eve service. So, we went with some friends, about ten of us total, to this
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Apr 10, 2006
Never buy a portable TV set on the sidewalk from a man who’s out of breath.