Summary: There is no time limit or age limit on this. As long as your parents are alive, God says honor them.
HONORING MY PARENTS
Ten Commandments That Build Strong Families - Part 5
Three elderly women are sitting together at the Senior’s Home in San Francisco, bragging about
their relationships with their sons. One begins, “My son is so devoted to me, for my birthday he
gave me an all-expenses-paid cruise around the world.” The second pipes in, “That’s nothing.
Mine threw a huge catered affair for me, and he flew in all my friends from the East.” The third
woman smirks at them both. “Without a doubt, my son is the most devoted. Three times a week
he goes to his therapist. A hundred and thirty dollars a session he pays. And what does he talk
about the whole time? Me!”
We're looking at the 5
Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land."
There is no time limit or age limit on this. As long as your parents are alive, God says honor
I. WHY DID GOD GIVE THIS COMMANDMENT?
1. There are no perfect parents.
All of us have weaknesses and faults and inconsistencies, mistakes. Only God is the perfect
parent. Even the best parents have made mistakes and sinned. The Bible says, "We've all
sinned." As a result we're all warped. None of us have perfect parents and if you're a parent,
you’re not perfect either.
There are many parents who have behaved badly. They were abusive, manipulative, neglectful.
What is God telling me to do with an abusive or neglectful parent? Am I supposed to ignore the
pain, put on a happy face and pretend everything is great? No, you're not. But God is saying I
want you to honor the position of parenthood.
All authority is to be honored, whether in the home, the church, or the government. Why?
Because they are the basis for an orderly society. God wants you to honor the position of
parenthood regardless of the personality behind it. Regardless if it’s a bad president, a bad police
officer or a bad parent, God wants you to honor the office even if the character in that position is
not so good.
2. Respect for authority begins at home.
If a child doesn’t learn to respect authority in the home they will struggle with school, in a career,
and in relationships. The child who grows up saying, "Nobody tells me what to do!" is going to
have a hard time keeping a job or cooperating in a relationship. There are a lot of times you have
to do what somebody tells you to do whether you want to or not. So God wants us to learn to
When you say to a judge , "Your honor" you're not making a value judgment about that guy's
character -- he may be a jerk. You're saying "Your honor", your showing respect for the position.
God put parents in a position of authority over you in your early age. So we are to respect it.
3. How I relate to my parents will affect every other relationship?
Your birth to young adult years are formed by your home life. How you relate to others as an
adult is primarily formed during your time under your parent’s authority. If you act in ways you
don't understand and can't figure out your behavior, many times it's because you're still reacting
to your parents. Many marriages have been ruined because a spouse has never resolved a
relationship with a parent and they're taking it out on their husband or wife or kids. They say
things like "You're just like my mom." Surveys have shown that people who get along with their
parents have far less stress in their lives.
II. HOW AM I TO HONOR MY PARENTS?
It depends on what stage of life you're in. Each stage you apply this command differently.
1. AS A CHILD, I HONOR MY PARENTS BY OBEYING AND RESPECTING THEM.
Eph 6:1 "Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them
in authority over you."
Obey -- do what they say, willfully, pleasantly, immediately. The Bible teaches that as long as
you're under your parent's roof you're to obey them. Since you are dependent upon your parents
for food, clothing, shelter, insurance... they have the right to call the shots in your life. When
you're out on your own that's a different issue. But as long as they are providing for you and
you're dependent upon them, the Bible says, you are to obey them.
2. AS A YOUNG PERSON, I HONOR MY PARENTS BY ACCEPTING AND
The older you get, you start seeing the faults of your parents. You start seeing their hangups,
faults, the chinks in the armor. It becomes important for you to accept them in spite of their