Summary: Submit to your mate, and so win him and woo him with an irresistible inner beauty.

If you have ever assembled a piece of IKEA furniture with a spouse, you will appreciate this short video, called “Things never said by couples assembling IKEA items.” Now, there is a couple of places where some foul language is used, so please be forewarned. Take a look. (Show video: “Things never said by couples assembling IKEA items.”)

There two parts to the video. Part 1 is “Things never said while assembling IKEA items:"

• Babe, could you pass me the instructions.

• Thanks, I’m glad you are helping.

• Alrighty, let’s get stuck in the next one, hand me that flat pack.

• Wow! Look at you go! Where did you learn all this?

• That obviously goes in there.

• Right on schedule, nice!

• It looks just like it does in the picture.

• Oh, this is fun!

• That guy in the store was spot on. Yeah! It only took five minutes.

• You know, I think the Allen [wrench] may be my favorite tool.

• Why did we only buy one of these?

• Well, that must be it. Nothing left in the bag. Done!

Part 2 is “What is actually said:"

• Babe, it says here... (Husband rips instructions out of wife’s hands).

• Have we got a receipt for this piece of sh...

• That doesn’t go like that. Back off!

• Not as easy as it looks, is it? Shut up!

• What are all these then? Who gives a sh...

• Where are you going? I’m going back to that shop to punch the guy in the head.

• If I ever meet Allen, I’m going to take this key, turn it sideways, and ram it up his...

• Lock! Urrr! (

This happens to so many couples that Corinne Purtill actually wrote an article about it in Quartz magazine a few years ago (September 18, 2015). She titled the article: “The psychology behind why couples always fight when assembling Ikea furniture.” In the article, she quotes Dr Scott Stanley, psychology professor at the University of Denver. He says, “There are some couples who have a fabulous life together who just recognize they should not be building things from IKEA together” (Corinne Purtill, “The psychology behind why couples always fight when assembling Ikea furniture,” Quartz, 9-18-15;

Let me tell you. Even the best marriages go through rough spots, but that’s where the grace of God comes in. God’s grace can powerfully transform your marriage. In fact, God’s grace can powerfully transform any relationship, even if you have made some stupid mistakes in that relationship.

Do you want to see God transform your relationship(s)? Then I invite you to open your Bibles and turn with me to 1 Peter 3, 1 Peter 3, where we see the transforming power of God’s grace.

1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. (ESV)

Now, these verses continue the thought began in 1 Peter 2:12 where it says, “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.”

Your life is a witness to those who don’t know Jesus yet, first of all, in the community where you live (1 Peter 2:13-17), then in the workplace where you work (1 Peter 2:18-25), and now here even in your home (1 Peter 3:1-7). These verses begin by addressing women who are married to unbelieving husbands, literally to those who refuse to be persuaded by the word (i.e., the Word of God). Let me tell you: these men are not going to listen to anybody, leastwise their wives, when it comes to spiritual matters.

Now, for a godly woman living in such a situation, life can get pretty difficult, but God assures her that she can win her husband over to the faith without a word simply by her behavior. All she has to do is “be submissive” in that relationship.

Now, before you ladies start throwing tomatoes, I want you to know that God is going to say the same thing to husbands in verse 7. In the original text, verse 7 literally reads, “Husbands, live with your wives IN THE SAME WAY” – that is, in the same way your wives are supposed to live with you!

Whenever the Bible talks about the husband/wife relationship, it is always in the context of mutual submission – the wife to the husband and the husband to the wife. When the Apostle Paul, in Ephesians 5, talks about the role of husbands and wives, he begins the whole section with these words: “SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21).

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