Summary: A message to the family using Exocus 20:12 "Honor your father and mother..."

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A Command With A Promise

Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."


Last Sunday evening we had a helpful video and lively discussion on the topic: "How to Really Love Your Child." Tonight the video and discussion guide is on "The Key to Discipline."

Parenting has always been a challenge but it seems that the 21st Century has some of the greatest challenges to parents. A true story is told by a mother that demonstrates the frenzied pace of parenting:

Why my child was six months old, I reentered the workforce. I was anxious about how I would juggle the morning chores-feeding and dressing the body and myself, pack a lunch and the baby’s bag, dropping her off at day care, and still getting myself to work on time. One frantic morning, I strapped the baby in the car seat and pulled out of the driveway ten minutes ahead of schedule. ’Mommy is so efficient,’ I happily told my little girl. My smugness disappeared a few blocks later when I looked down and realized I was still in my bathrobe.

"Honor your father and your mother." I personally found it easy to honor my mother and a challenge to honor my father. God’s commandment makes it clear that we are to honor parents, our mother and our father.

I. Honor Comes With the Role of Being a Parent

Honor is not linked to your parent’s character of quality of life. "Honor" means to value highly, care for, show deep respect for, and obey with a proper attitude.

Disrespect is to treat as worthless the role of your parents.

The Bible doesn’t say, "Honor your father and mother if they don’t discipline you, disagree with you or don’t let you have your way all the time."

You are to honor your parents because they are your parents. In good times and bad times you are to respect your parents. Why? Because they are your parents! Unconditional love demonstrates honor and respect regardless of whether your parents deserve it or not.

Gary Samlley defines honor: "deciding to place high value, worth, and importance on another person by viewing him or her as a priceless gift and granting him or her a position in our lives worthy of great respect."

What about obsessive parents/ Love them and give them and yourself space. Nowhere in the Bible does it say you are to receive continual abuse.

Scripture gives no other option then to honor your parents.

The fifth commandment comes in the middle of the Ten commandments. Obedience to the commandments is like the fold in your life. In many ways your destiny hinge on how you respond to the commandments. Obedience or disobedience to the fifth commandment affects your future, but has no affect on your past. Its primary affect is on your life right now.

How should you honor your parents? How was I to honor my Dad that missed many days of my growing up years? I longed for my dad to take me places with him. He wasn’t there for my school activities. He wasn’t there when I had a lead part in an elementary school Operetta. My mother from 1st grade through High school and college had to live the roles of both father and mother. She did it through lots of love and prayer.

My mother had the role spoken of in I Thessalonians 2:11-12, "For you knot that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom of glory."

How do you deal with disappointment and heart ache? You deal with it only by the grace of God. Extra grace is required for many situations.

Grace is the unearned favor from God. You are totally in debt to God. God gives his love and grace to you time and time again. What should you do with the grace? Hoard it and stubbornly hand on to it. Or pass the grace on to others?

Maybe your dad wasn’t there for you, but you can be there for your sons or daughters. By God’s grace you can comfort and encourage them. You can encourage and give hope to many other young men and women that feel lonely and lost as they seek for every opportunity to fill the gap and void of love.

By God’s grace we can choose to accentuate the positive experiences we have with our parents. I was privileged to give tributes at both my mother and father’s funeral. I found it easy to remember happy times with my mother and I choose by an act of my will to focus on the positive things about my father.

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