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Summary: The key to success in most jobs and ministries is "Knowing how to get alone with people." 3rd John is a study in contrasts between Gaius and Diotrephes.

“A Servant Attitude: Key to Success in Relationships”

Matthew 20:25-28 (quickview) 

3 John 1-12 (quickview) 

The Carnegie Foundation discovered that to be successful on the job, relational skills are far more important than knowledge. It’s research found that only 15 percent of a person’s success is determined by job knowledge and technical skills. Eighty-five percent is determined by an individual’s attitude and ability to relate to other people.

In 3rd John, we find helpful teaching on attitudes that result in successful human relationships. The key to success most jobs and ministries is this: “Knowing how to get along with people.” You may have outstanding skills and training, but without good people skills and a healthy attitude you will not enjoy life to the fullest and maximize your work opportunities. 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is made up of how you respond to what happens to you.

3rd John is a study in contrasts between the attitudes in two church leaders in the early church, Gaius and Diotrephes (Di-ot’re-fez). From this small book of the Bible we can discover several principles that will help us to improve our attitude and people skills.

3 John 2-8 (quickview)  John praises Gaius for his positive leadership in the church.

I want to discuss several characteristics of a servant attitude to help you become successful in your relationships.

I. A Servant Attitude is Teachable

A person with a servant attitude is teachable.

Gaius was teachable. Gaius was good friend of the Apostle John and served as a leader in the church as a Christ honoring Christian. Verse 3 John says, “It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth.”

Gaius was one who practiced what he preached. He was faithful to the truth of God’s Word and walked in obedience to the truth.

In contrast to Gaius John scolds Diotrephes for not being teachable. (Verses 9-10) “I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.”

Gaius had a humble attitude and Diotrephes was filled with conceit and pride. A person filled with pride tends to look down on other people. They have a sense of superiority. Prideful persons constantly look for what they can find is wrong with people and situations rather then what is right.

###Several weeks again in our Sunday evening Bible study I told the story is told about a man who decided to become a monk and joined an order where silence was the cardinal rule. He could only say two words every decade.

After ten years, the head monk called him. “Well,” he said, “you can say your two words now.” The man replied, “Food tasteless.” Having said his piece the monk returned to his quarters to spend the next ten years.

After ten more years passed, he was once again summoned to his superior’s office to speak just two words. This time he said, “Bed hard.”


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