Summary: A look at the 5th commandment
Honor means TO MAKE HEAVY
-As children we OBEY
-As adolescents we RESPECT
-As adults we APPRECIATE & CARE
Honor goes BOTH WAYS
-Parents should be HONOR - WORTHY
Dt. 6:6,7 Dt. 4:9 Dt. 21:18-21 2Cor 12:14 Eph. 6:4
How do we HONOR THE DISHONORABLE?
- NAME it and FACE it
- Make the decision to FORGIVE
- DROP it!
We honor are parents my giving them weight in our lives. The word honor literally means to make heavy. God is amazingly realistic in this commandment. He does not ask us to have greeting card sentiments for our parents. The commandment does not say to love your mother and father, it says to honor. God knew how difficult the relationship could be. He says to respect them and give them weight. Honor the authority God has given parents. This authority is the hope of our civilization because God ends this commandments with, "and you will live long in the land the Lord your God has given you."
Honor changes according to our age. For children honor means to obey. Parents need to teach willing obedience. Sometimes its enough to say, "because I said so," but it will not cut it over the long haul. Children need to be taught why it beneficial to obey. As kids go into the teen years this obedience continues but it must turn into respect. The teen years are very difficult. Kids are getting more freedom and are making more of their own decisions. They are thinking that their folks are from another planet. They are hopelessly out of touch with the real world. All kids go through it. During this tough time when kids are struggling with Mom and Dad, respect must prevail. During the adult years obedience fades, respect is obvious. But appreciate comes to the forefront with a later accent on care.
Honor goes both ways. Parents must be honor-worthy. Parents make it a lot easier to be honored if they fulfill their responsibility as parents and thus are worthy of honor.
The tough question comes when a parent has not been honor-worthy. How do we obey God and honor our Moms and Dads if they have been dishonorable toward us. Here is a outline of a process that is biblical. It is not this easy!!! But this will give you a starting point. Name the offense and face it. God is a god of truth and things are not to be hidden. God is light and He honors truth. Name the offense and face it. This may mean going to the party that offended you. It may mean getting counseling. Face the trouble don’t run from it. We Christians are good at stuffing the things under the rug and trying hard to let people know there is STUFF in our background. Next we must make the decision to forgive. Don’t wait for forgiving feelings, make the decision. God commands it in Mt. 6. We are most like God when we are forgiving. Forgiving means giving up your right to get back at the person. Then finally we must drop it!! Don’t pick it back up after you have forgiven the person. God has forgiven me, shouldn’t I forgive my mother or father?