Summary: I. EXORDIUM: Are you a quarrelsome person? II. AUDIENCE PROFILE: Believers III. OBJECTIVES: To show proof that strife can be avoided and stopped. IV. TEXT: Proverbs 20:3 (Amplified Bible) It is an honor for a man to cease from stri


Are you a quarrelsome person?




To show proof that strife can be avoided and stopped.


Proverbs 20:3 (Amplified Bible)

It is an honor for a man to cease from strife and keep aloof from it, but every fool will quarrel.


Strife can be avoided.


Avoiding Strife


A. Author: Solomon

B. Chief Purpose: to give moral instruction

C. Key text: Proverbs 1:4 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

These proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge and discernment to the young.

D. Key thought: fear of the LORD


A. What is strife?

The word "strife" came from the Hebrew word: "riyb rib" meaning "a contest", controversy, adversary, a quarrel. So to avoid strife, avoid the challenge and contest.

Proverbs 17:14 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.

Proverbs 20:3 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.

B. Causes of strife or quarrel:

1. Hatred

Proverbs 10:12 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.

2. Pride

Proverbs 13:10 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.

3. Contentious spirit

Proverbs 26:21 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood.

4. Anger

Proverbs 29:22 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

5. Foolish questions

1 Timothy 6:4 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions.

James 3:16 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

C. Our attitude to prevent strife:

1. Thinking of others as better than you. Selfishness and impressing others will disappear from you.

Philippians 2:3 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

2. Know the causes and stop before strife happens.

2 Timothy 2:14 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them.

3. Be kind to everyone, and be patient with difficult people. Everyone deserves your kindness, it's natural while a difficult person deserves your patience.

2 Timothy 2:24 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.

4. Don't be jealous, don't pretend with boasting and lying.

James 3:14 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying.

D. Good quarrels:

1. Paul vs. John Mark

Their quarrel: John Mark left Paul in one of his journeys

Acts 13:13 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Paul and his companions then left Paphos by ship for Pamphylia, landing at the port town of Perga. There John Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.

Acts 15:37-38 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark.

But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work.

After: He wanted Mark to come to him for he's helpful in his ministry. Paul changed his mind about John Mark.

2 Timothy 4:11 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.

Colossians 4:10 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Aristarchus, who is in prison with me, sends you his greetings, and so does Mark, Barnabas’s cousin. As you were instructed before, make Mark welcome if he comes your way.

2. Paul vs. Barnabas

Their fight: They parted ways.

Acts 15:39 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.

After: He mentioned Barnabas making him an example.

1 Corinthians 9:6 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Or is it only Barnabas and I who have to work to support ourselves?

Galatians 2:1 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)

Then fourteen years later I went back to Jerusalem again, this time with Barnabas; and Titus came along, too.

3. Paul vs. Peter

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