Big Daddy

“Big Daddy – needs to be honored!”

Thesis: Fathers Day is the day to honor “Big Daddy” and for all of us to show appreciation and affection for what our fathers did right.

Illustration - humorous - Big Daddy:

Because I’m Big Daddy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV and occasionally scan the other channels to make sure I don’t miss something important If someone misplaces the remote I can miss a whole TV show looking for it and possibly a important news flash.

Because I am Big Daddy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hangar and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service. Oh, and when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.”

Because I’m Big Daddy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t and issue.

Because I’m Big Daddy, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “cumin” or “vanilla”. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism.

Because I’m Big Daddy, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. But I tried and gave it my best shot.

Because I’m Big Daddy, I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Life is an adventure we need to explore. Besides why would you listen to a complete stranger – how would they know where we’re going. I also do not want to bother other people because they have important things to do.

Because I’m Big Daddy, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is always either sports or sex, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t. I am so sensitive to others feelings I would never want to hurt them.

Because I’m Big Daddy, I don’t want to visit your mother she is so busy, or have your mother come visit us and me bother her for hours, or talk to her when she calls because I know she wants to talk to you, or worry about her anymore that I have to because she’s under God’s protection. Whatever you get her for Mother’s Day is okay, I don’t need to see it I trust you. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom, too?

Because I’m Big Daddy, you don’t have to ask me if I like the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t. But I love sacrificing my time watching it with you.

Because I’m Big Daddy, I think what you are wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without looks fine. You hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now because your always so fine?

Because I’m Big Daddy and this is a new century, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.

We father’s have done a lot of interesting things in our parenting years and in essence role modeled some appropriate and inappropriate examples to our kids. We have even been known to teach principles to our kids through our famous sayings.

Illustration on what Fathers have been known to say:

- Who made you the boss!

- I’m the king of this house!

- Don’t argue, I’m the boss!

- Wait till your mom gets home!

- You mom won’t like it!

- This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.

- Quiet. I’m watching the ball game.

- Don’t forget to check the oil.

- Bring back all the change.

- How should I know? Ask your mother.

- I’m not made out of money!

- Keep your eye on the ball!

- Don’t worry it’s only blood, just wipe it off.