Summary: A sermon for husbands from Ephesians 5:28-33. (Outline taken from Gary Kusunoki on Blue Letter Bible)
Sermon for 6/14/2009
A. A husband was told by the marriage counselor to try and be more considerate of his wife. So one day he came home from work. He looked real nice, he put on some cologne on, and he had a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy in his hands. He rang the doorbell and when she opened the door he presented her with the flowers and candy and said, “I’ve arranged for babysitting, would you go out to dinner with me?” She took one look at him and burst into tears. In between her sobs she says, "It’s been a terrible day. Johnny got in a fight at school. Suzy was sent home sick and is throwing up. The kitchen sink is backed up. Your parents just called, they’re coming to visit this weekend. And to top it all off, you come home drunk!”
B. All of this stuff is great but where does the rubber meet the road? Practical stuff.
Thesis: Let’s talk about the husband’s duty; the husband’s role and the husband’s responsibility.
1. Husband’s duty
A. Simply to love his wife. Vs. 28. Oh, if she would just let me I would love (lust) her. Part of it is physical (fulfill marital duty) but part of it is not.
B. As their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Is this encouraging self love? Those guys who go to the gym. Supposed to help our wives go to gym? Let our wives pamper their bodies because they really are our bodies.
C. We do certain things for self preservation. We look out for ourselves. If we don’t look out for us, who will? Vs. 29
D. The Lord has placed that instinct within us. Now obviously that instinct can go too far! I look out for myself and that is it. It is all about me!
D. As husbands our duty is to look out for the good of our wives (and visa versa). If we want to be happy and healthy, we will look out for the good of our wives.
E. Here is the problem with many. They don’t love themselves. When they take an honest look at themselves, they don’t like what they see. They hate what they do. They hate how they are. (Rom 7:18 NIV) I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. (Rom 7:19 NIV) For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.(Rom 7:20 NIV) Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.(Rom 7:21 NIV) So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.(Rom 7:22 NIV) For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;(Rom 7:23 NIV) but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
F. When this goes too far the instinct of self preservation is lessened. When this goes too far it contributes to not caring about ourselves. When this goes too far it contributes to alcoholism, drugs, violence, (cutting is common in our day, they do it to punish themselves, they do not like themselves) and maybe even suicide.
G. People talk a lot about self esteem in our day. Here is the kicker. We cannot really love ourselves or anyone else if we do not love the Lord. (Rom 7:24 NIV) What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? (Rom 7:25 NIV) Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!
H. Look at the Great Commandment. (Mat 22:37 NIV) Jesus replied: "’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’(Mat 22:38 NIV) This is the first and greatest commandment. (Mat 22:39 NIV) And the second is like it: ’Love your neighbor as yourself.’(Mat 22:40 NIV) All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
I. Which is the greater of the two? To love the Lord. The Lord loves us and we love the Lord. This is where we learn about who we are, who the Lord is and how much that the Lord cares about us. This is where we get our self worth, our self esteem.
J. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Good portion of the Law of Moses is devoted to proper conduct toward neighbor. If we love ourselves then we will love our neighbor. We cannot love ourselves unless we are saved.