Summary: In just a few moments, we can destroy the testimony of a lifetime! Anger uncontrolled can lead to hurtful outbursts and spiteful actions that can ruin relationships for a very long time. Can God help me with my anger? What are the steps? Read on for victo

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Dealing With Anger

Covington Theological Seminary Chapel

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Have you ever felt angry toward a person or situation and wondered if your feelings were appropriate? Has your anger ever caused you to say or do something you later regretted? You’re not alone. Anger is a universally expressed human emotion. It also happens to sit near the top of the least-comfortable-feelings list.

You have heard it said that when you’re nearing the boiling point you should count to ten. Only one small problem: In the middle of your frustration, you probably prefer to count backward. “Ten . . . nine . . . eight . . . seven . . . six . . . five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . BOOM! Angry countdowns rarely end with a calm, relaxed resolution. They usually end in disaster.

Or maybe instead of overreacting in anger, you try to ignore your very real feelings. Perhaps you bottle up anger and hope it goes away. But it doesn’t go away; it hangs around. Bottle-up anger actually stays “fresh” longer.

What can you do? How should you respond when someone or something triggers your anger switch? (Checklists for Life, Thomas Nelson)


Neh. 9:17 . . . but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness . . .

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Eccles. 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:


1. Does this action require a response?

2. If a response is needed, what is the best way to respond?

3. Respond, not react!

4. If you decide to make an issue of the matter, is it out of frustration or do you have some constructive suggestions on how to right the wrong?


1. Evaluate the situation.

2. Consider the circumstances.

3. Was it said in a calculated manner, or did it slip out under stressful conditions?

4. What is going on in that person’s life?

5. Have I had time to cool down?

6. Should I get advice from a friend before responding?

7. What is going on in my life?

8. Am I tired? Frustrated? Stressed? Sick?

9. Would I have a problem with what was said if my circumstances were different?


1. Know that God expects reconciliation!

2. Pray! Before, during, after your meeting.

3. Love! If a believer, we must love him as God does. If unsaved, it is all the more important!

4. Keep your voice down! A soft answer . . .

5. Watch your expressions and posture!

6. Listen!

7. Share your hurt!

8. Ask if any of your actions may have been a trigger for them.

9. Be willing to admit your fault in the matter.

10. Be more than ready to accept an apology.


1. Make a list of what angers you. Write how you should respond to each situation.

2. Go settle accounts with someone. Eliminate bitterness.

3. Pray for a spirit of gentleness.

4. Ask a friend to make you accountable.

QUOTE: “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” (Marcus Aurelius)

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