Dealing With Tensions And Conflicts In Churches And Church Organisations – Practical Examination And Suggestions – Part 4 Series

DEALING WITH TENSIONS AND CONFLICTS IN CHURCHES AND CHURCH ORGANISATIONS – PRACTICAL EXAMINATION AND SUGGESTIONS – PART 4

Problems and tensions in the church often begin small and escalate. They can be difficult to remedy and this series of articles looks at some areas that cause tensions and some possible suggestions for dealing with them. We continue looking at possible difficult situations.

[G.1]. THE PASTOR IN THE MIDDLE

One person in the church comes to the Pastor/Minister/Rector, whatever, and complains about another person in the church. Before we go any further, straight away, the alarm has gone off for tension in the church. What has been lurking underneath? There are so many things that may be festering below the surface that the Pastor knows not about. That is true for nearly all unless you are involved yourself. If you are involved in disharmony or ill feeling towards another person in the church, it is disgraceful and you must do what is right to fix that.

Anyway, that person who complains comes to the Pastor wanting him to do something about the other person. Now the Pastor is placed in the middle of a person dispute, or worse still, in the middle of gossip. How is this to be handled? If the pastor does the wrong thing a storm is created. I know this is a word I have used many times but – DISCERNMENT on his part. One thing I will say and I mean this. Don’t act hastily and don’t act before prayer. I have slipped up a number of times because I neglected that. Here are a few pointers:-

(a). Don’t take action in haste because it may be a misunderstanding that sorts itself out in time. Even worse it might be malicious and spiteful so be very careful.

(b). Above all, do not start talking to other people in the church about it to get ideas, etc. Loose tongues and all that. Wise as serpents, harmless as doves. Maybe you have a gem of a Christian there with whom you can act like David and Jonathon.

(c). Ask the complainant for witnesses and confirmation because – {{Matthew 18:16 “but if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed,”}} The biblical principle is two or three witnesses.

(d). If anything is of a sexual or abuse nature, be extremely careful, VERY careful. I know in Australia that wants to set world firsts all the time, often in stupidity, certain complaints must go to specified Government bodies and the person hearing the complaint can say or do nothing. Sometimes he can’t talk to the person. This rides all over the rights of Christians in the matter of transgressions. Even if the complaint received is wrong or vexatious the Pastor in that case has no legal option. He has to report it. In a way it is wrong because it is like betraying a member of his church without his knowing any of the true facts, and the Pastor can not tell the accused member. The world hates decency.

I know sin is bad but who has not sinned? Sadly the middle man is out of the picture and can’t even give counselling in some cases. Everything is weighted against the alleged person accused. Many of these Government officials, and wicked people themselves, will quake at the great white throne one day. There are very severe penalties in place if anyone hears of something especially involving children or teens and does not report it, even if the information is tenuous at best. That is the evil of our society.

You people in churches who have Ministers/pastors, keep them in prayer and support them. We live in the last days of the Church age and the coming of the Lord is very close.

Other nations might have a more sensible approach to allegations but government restrictions are getting worse. To some degree the Roman Catholic church can hide behind the confessional and evade some of the demands, but I don’t know. Things are changing so rapidly now.

(e). If the complaint is about misconduct of some nature, or adultery (that is not to be reported to governments) then the Pastor needs to follow the steps above and if something is substantiated, then before God he must act somehow. It is not for me to say how. Just one thing though, WE ALL must remember WE ALL are sinners, so you do not set out to crucify a person who is guilty. Have you tried to approach the one you are accusing? {{John 8:6-7 “They were saying this, testing Him, in order that they might have grounds for accusing Him, but Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. When they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up and said to them, “HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN AMONG YOU, LET HIM BE THE FIRST TO THROW A STONE AT HER.”}}