Summary: . Many families aren’t working together well. 1) Instead of building each other up, they tear apart. 2) Much dissatisfaction and stress. 3) Unresolved problems often end up in abuse or divorce.
IS YOUR FAMILY PROBLEMATIC?
I. What it means to be dysfunctional.
A. Many families aren’t working together well.
1) Instead of building each other up, they tear apart.
2) Much dissatisfaction and stress.
3) Unresolved problems often end up in abuse or divorce.
B. Nothing new - many families in Bible were dysfunctional.
1) Adam - sons murdered each other.
2) Noah - sons dishonored him.
3) Lot - daughters were promiscuous.
4) Eli - sons were religious swindlers.
5) David - sons plotted to kill him (and each other).
C. The worst problems a family can face are addictions and the
way we handle to them.
II. Addictions that tear up families.
A. Alcohol & drug abuse.
1) Real danger to families.
a) Either hidden from view or covered with social acceptance.
b) Socially acceptable - until kid wraps car around tree.
c) Often leads to violence, or the opposite - isolation.
2) LIFE magazine pictorial:
a) "Couldn’t happen to MY kid..."
"If there are drugs available on the other side of
you, your daughter will run over you to get them."
c) Daughter was in treatment center, they were raising
3) Christians have stood against alcohol & drugs.
a) Prohibition a "noble experiment" that failed.
b) But tragedy is still there.
c) Instead of substance high, get high on Spirit. Eph 5:18
B. Physical abuse.
1) Unspoken tragedy, but common even in Christian families.
a) Justified as stern discipline or enforcement of submission.
b) Many women have submitted to point of death.
2) Affects many their entire life.
a) Insecurity, craving attention.
b) Mimicking behavior.
3) Bible warns against physical abuse. Malachi 2:16
C. Sexual sin and abuse.
1) Hardest to talk about, but most prevalent.
2) It lingers in memories and poisons life years later.
3) Offenders often feel intense guilt, but feel compelled to act.
4) Bible describes forbidden relationships. Leviticus 18
A. Patterns of coping in addictive families. (alcoholism)
1) The addict’s destructive behavior is denied or minimized.
a) Family members may actually assist the addiction.
b) There is a strong "rescue" tendency.
2) Rigid boundaries are formed concerning communication outside
3) Feelings of anger, shame, fear, and sadness are hidden.
Counselor Claudia Black’s summary of the rules:
"Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel."
4) Roles are reversed:
a) Children function as adults, becoming caretakers.
b) Adults behave like children.
c) Results in an inability to make choices without first
focusing on what others want or demand.
d) This is the essence of "co dependency."
5) Some believe 96% of us are co dependent.
a) Everyone related to an alcoholic, abuser, etc.
b) Probably oversimplified.
B. Families form a web of behavior patterns, so when addict
seeks change, they may resist it.
1) Addiction is a known, change is an unknown.
2) These patterns shape our future generations.
IV. The ultimate addiction.
A. Co dependency sounds a lot like the Christian definition of sin.
1) Sin is more than specific acts. Romans 1