Summary: Why do feuds develope between Christians and how can we prevent them?
The Family Feud
Richard Dawson used to be the host of the popular game show ¡V Family Feud where two families faced off in competition against one another. Today too often we see family feuds and they¡¦re not part of a game show in fact they are no game at all ¡V they are part of the church. The Bible makes it clear that we are family ¡V brothers and sisters of one Father. Not born naturally into His family but adopted and presented as joint heirs with Christ. So if we are part of God¡¦s family in this wonderful and precious way ¡V why do we get into so many tussles and scrapes with each other. Should¡¦t that be reserved for those who are not a part of the body of Christ?
Well let me share with you first of all why so many feuds develop.
ƒá Different Personalities ¡V Extrovert, Introvert, shy, outgoing, loud, reserved, aggressive, passive, high strung and laid back. Our personalities make us who we are to a great extent. The truth is ¡V and I¡¦m sure none of you will believe this ¡V I¡¦m and extrovert ¡V a little loud, definitely Type A, and pretty driven for what I believe in. While those qualities work well to allow me to do what I do ¡V sometimes they work against me. Sometimes I am perceived as intimidating or overbearing ¡V I don¡¦t think I am but others see me this way. The truth is that our personalities are out there ¡V and they are not compatible with everyone else¡¦s personalities. Sometimes we are going to just get on each others nerves. We are very different people.
ƒá Different Preferences ¡V Some like classical music ¡V others like country ¡V still other rock and roll ¡V Some like it loud ¡V others like it soft. Some like worship to be long and extended ¡V others short and to the point. Some prefer the great hymns of the faith ¡V others the intimacy of praise chorus¡¦. Some like long sermons other would rather I shut up. We all like very different things.
ƒá Different Backgrounds ¡V You know when you have done as much premarital counseling as I have you begin to understand the idea of baggage. Baggage is that emotional stuff that we all carry around with us (assumptions about life and people, hurts, sensitivities, etc) that affects how we view life and people. Some people have been abused in life and are suspicious of everyone and everything always on guard. Others have been sheltered and tend to face life with an undaunted optimism. Some see the glass half empty others see it half full. We view life in very different ways.
ƒá Different Sensitivities ¡V Have you got a pet peeve? Something that just absolutely twists your gibbets? Guess what we all do. Unfortunately I have more than I should. One persons curious habit is another persons pet peeve. We all have very different triggers.
ƒá Different Lifestyles ¡V Some are in the middle of raising their families ¡V others in the beginnings of retirement. Some are in the midst of raising teenagers others in the twilight years. But each stage of life has its own demands on time, energy, attention, finances, and attitudes. This leaves us with very different demands.
It was because of these very things that Rev. EV Hill said ¡§Make no mistake wherever two or more are gathered together ¡V there the mess is!¡¨ With all these differences how in the world are we supposed to keep a family together? How are we supposed to work together, play together, and change the world together when we are always getting on each others nerves so bad?
Well on the family feud they surveyed 100 people and put there top 4 answers on the board. This morning I want to tell you I took a survey of one ¡V and I want to put His top 4 answers on the board.
1) Be of the same mind ¡V Paul said to the church at Philippi ¡V ¡§If there is any encouragment in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind.¡¨ Being of one mind indicates not a uniformity of idea¡¦s but a uniformity of thinking. What I mean by that is ¡V Paul doesn¡¦t call us to all think alike or think the same things that would be impossible ¡V what he calls us to do is think from the same motivation. The honor and glory of the Christ that we serve. Being of the same mind doesn¡¦t mean we will never disagree or that we will never think differently. In fact it gives us the freedom to disagree. It mean that when we are unified in our desires and our motivation we are able to disagree to a proper end or purpose. Many perspectives gives us a fuller picture of the whole. If what we desire is the same ¡V our hearts are the same ¡V we will share idea¡¦s freely and support the consensus that brings us to a mutually desired endpoint.