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Summary: We can learn from Jesus what it means for a husband to take care of his bride because Jesus takes good care of His bride – the Church.

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Family Matters II: Honoring God in our Relationships

Ephesians 5:21-33

Intro: Last week we talked about family matters, taking our approach from Ephesians 5:8&10 where Paul says, “Live as children of light” and “Find out what pleases the Lord.” How do we please the Lord in our relationships? We began by talking about our relationship with the head of the church family – Jesus. Then we talked about relationships with members of our church family. Paul wrote in v.21 – Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Then Robin shared about how wives can be in submission to their own husbands (not women submitting to men in general).

1. Understand who your husband is – each one is unique

2. Let your husband be the head of the home! Be a team, but let him lead.

3. Respect and honor your husband - Respect is so important to a man! A man connects respect to love so much so that he will actually feel despised when his wife is disrespectful to him. We learned that admiration is one of the deepest needs of a man.

-We ran out of time last week, so today we are going to focus on the husband’s role in the family and look at Paul’s counsel to the man of the house. A husband’s role is so important that it would do us all good to give our full attention to what the Bible says today. Jesus Himself is portrayed as the husband or groom of the Church. The Church includes everyone who puts their faith in Jesus, trusting Him to forgive their sins and to lead their lives. Some of us men may have trouble seeing ourselves as part of the Bride of Christ, but I like what one writer, C.S. Lewis said about that: “God is so masculine, that all of creation is feminine by comparison.” So we can learn from Jesus today what it means for a husband to take care of his bride because Jesus takes good care of His bride – the Church.

1. A godly husband submits (21, 24)

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

-Maybe you’ve heard that it takes a good follower to be a good leader. Well, if a husband is not following Christ and submitting to His leadership, then he is not likely to be a very good leader.

A. So a husband first submits to God, asking Him for His grace and forgiveness and committing to follow Him and obey Him in love. This is what we call salvation or conversion, or coming to Christ. It means giving up our own way of doing things and accepting God’s way of doing things as we follow His lead.

B. A husband also submits to other believers. We mentioned this last week, but v.21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This means we do not have to have our way all the time. This means that we value others and the insight God gives to them. This means that we are willing to say those words that might not come easy for some of us when we are wrong – I am sorry. Will you please forgive me? Sometimes it might mean that we make ourselves vulnerable to others, letting them see that we are not superhuman, but also letting them see that God is working in our lives.

-Submitting to other believers shows that we are truly submitting to Christ because we are submitting ourselves to His bride – the Church (one another). This is done out of respect for Christ – the same kind of respect a husband wants to receive from his wife. Jesus wants respect and admiration from us, and one way we do that is by submitting to one another and working together.

C. A third area of submission for his husband is to his own wife. This might sound controversial, but it fits very much with what Paul said in v.21 – Submit to one another. Husband, your believing wife is part of the bride of Christ to whom you are to submit. She has value as a unique human being and as a follower of Jesus Christ. She belongs to Jesus every bit as much as she belongs to you – actually more.

-What do I mean by this? Well, the best word I can come up with to describe it is consideration. As you seek to lead the family, are you considerate of her needs, her feelings, her thoughts, and her opinions? If not, then you are not submitting to her out of respect for Christ. Yes, you have the final say, but do you treat her as an equal partner whom God has gifted with grace, insight, and understanding? Sometimes a wife’s insight appears to defy logic, but it would do us good to find out why she thinks what she thinks and feels the way she feels. Some call it women’s intuition, others call it radar, but if you have any sense you will at least listen and try to understand.

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