Sermons

Summary: What kind of Father does God expect us to be?

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PSALMS 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves. 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Hey...children are a reward? Notice tho, our text does mention that you probably ought to have ’em in your youth (not sure about a quiver full of ’em, tho....). Today is Father’s Day, and there are many different descriptions and meanings for a Father. Here are some things that men say that I will attempt to translate for the women here today...taken from THE MEN’S THESAURUS (men don’t always say what they mean) – ladies, please allow me to translate for your future benefit:

When a man says “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” He means: "I have no idea how it works"

When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"

When a man says ’THAT’S INTERESTING DEAR.’He means: "Are you still talking?"

When a man says: "IT’S A GUY THING"He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"

When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER" He means: "Why isn’t it ready yet?"

When a man says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR" He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response.

When a man says "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." He means: " I can remember the theme song to ‘Hogan’s Heroes’, the phone # of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned – but yes, I forgot your birthday"

When a man says ’OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL" He means: "I have probably severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt, so get over here and help me!"

When a man says ’I CAN’T FIND IT.’’ He means: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hand, so I’m completely clueless"

When a man says “I HEARD YOU.” He means: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you’ll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

When a man says "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" He means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

When a man says "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!" He means: "Oh please don’t try on one more outfit, we’re late and I’m starving."

When a man says "I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.’’ He means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

When a man says “I don’t think I can go today.” He means: Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way.

When a man says, “I don’t remember saying that.” It’s because he means: “Anything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.”


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