Summary: Fourth down is your last chance to clean up the messes you may have made in your marriage.

4 Play: Four Keys to a Winning Marriage Series

Fourth Down: Teachability

Feb. 21, 2008 FBC, Chester Mike Fogerson, Pastor


A 30-Day Sex Challenge at Relevant Church in Ybor City, Fl.

1 Make time! "Sometimes life gets in the way, our jobs get in the way."~Paul Wirth

2 Catalyst for 50% divorce rate (unchurched/churched)

3 4th down is your last chance to do something before the other team gets the ball.

B If we asked God what His thoughts are on divorce, we’d hear Him say, "For I hate divorce ," says the LORD...Mal 2:16a (NASB)

1 Divorce is not God’s will for marriages.

2 Divorce is possibly seen as an option with unflagging adultery or abuse.

a It was said, ’WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matt 5:31-32 (NASB)

b On the latter (abuse), I’m aligned on one’s ability to divorce an unbelieving spouse. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? 17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 1 Cor 7:15-17 (NASB) No believing husband/wife would violate his (or her) spouse.

c Abuse is not leaving the toilet seat up, insensitive to your mom, nagging when you go hunting.

3 Divorce is not unforgivable, times it’s allowed (divorce does happen, I’m just saying it happens too often).

C We’ve looked at 3 plays so far: focus, commitment, & honor.

1 Fourth down: teachability

a Teachability is putting high enough value on your relationship to ask for advice, get something different.

b Pride stops! (I can handle this mess-I don’t need help!)

2 At home, if you make a mess, you pick it up.

a Imagine spilling milk on the carpet (the longer it sits, soaks...stinks)

b Would you like to pick up some messes today?

3 (Transitional sentence) Let’s learn how to deal with some of the most common messes couples make in their marriages (be teachable!)

I The first mess we must learn to clean up is honoring one another.

A Men/women

1 Men, we have some messes that only we can pick up.

a You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NASB) Your job/ministry is to honor your wife as a weaker vessel.

aa Honor: value, see as precious, transliterated (time)

bb When we fail to honor her as the weaker vessel (partner NIV), we make a mess.

b Honor as a weaker vessel means different things to different couples, but it may look like:

aa Opening the door for her (car, Wal-Mart)

bb She enters a room first, steps out of an elevator first

cc You walk on the outside of the sidewalk

c You put value on her! You look out for her! You put her first/ at the top.

2 Realistically, if we were honoring our wives the way we are called to, the desired end result of the women’s liberation movement would mean a demotion for the ladies.

a We’ve made a mess by not doing our job/ministry.

B Some ladies will say, "I don’t need a man to honor me."

1 Ma’am, with all due respect, who are you to take away that ministry that God has given your husband?

2 "Weaker" troubles some ladies (lack of understanding)

a Not weaker morally, character, mentally...physically, yes.

b Unless you’re Chynna (WWF), that’s accurate

c (IL) Pam, my wife, can beat my brains out at Boggle & Guitar Hero 3; if we’re going to arm wrestle, I’ll beat her 10 out of 10 times.

d She is the physically weaker vessel

3 Ladies, I believe you grieve the Spirit of the God with that attitude because "honoring you as the weaker vessel" is God’s will for your husband concerning your life together (submissive).

There are messes on both sides of marriage with this honoring issue, yet it’s not the only one we must learn how to pick up (transitional sentence).

II The second mess we must learn to clean up is depriving one another.

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