Summary: Healthy marriages aren’t just possible, they are guaranteed if we’ll but walk close to God, applying his marriage principles; this message is an encouragement to husbands to be the men God has called us to be.
MPM Men’s Retreat May, 2008
“If your spouse is an idiot, you’re a double idiot for marrying them.” - Gary Chapman
This talk is for everyone...
You young men...take notes now, set yourself up for success.
You single men...rejoice in your gifting now (1 Cor.7:7), prepare for what God has for you later.
All you unmarried men...Go to trainbyfaith.com and listen to the talk titled relationships under the MP3 tab.
You happily married guys...it never hurts to hear it again.
You guys who’s marriages aren’t where they should be...there is hope.
Pastors’ you have a BIG responsibility.
Be the example.
Prepare people adequately.
Encourage people correctly.
Divorced parents, didn’t think it was possible, God challenged that, I stand here today with a great marriage - by God’s grace.
It is possible guys.
Want to live a happy life?
Love your wife.
Not just be attracted to her; love her.
Choose to put her good first!
Good relationship with her = peaceful, joyful, relaxed life.
Compare that to constant quarreling.
What do you want?
Don’t give up happiness to walk around bitter and angry all day.
Invest in your marriage.
Marriage is “hard work.”
Hard work like working at something you love.
Not hard work in terms of painful, boring and hated work.
Hard work like learning to fly fish, not digging a ditch.
Learn and grow.
Books, tapes and other resources.
These men’s retreats.
Weekend to remember.
This is so important!!!
Your kids, friends, co-workers, church and society need to see good examples of marriage.
Many of our students tell Erin and I we’re the 1st good marriage they’ve ever seen.
God’s desire for marriage:
God designed marriage to be a reflection of Him and His love for us.
Gen.1:27 - Male and female created in His image.
Eph.5:21-33 - a reflection of God’s love for us.
As Christians in America, we’re missing the boat.
Some stats have shown that the divorce rate among Christians is higher than outside the church.
No stats show its lower.
Gen.2:18 - Not good for man to be alone.
You need your wife.
Men are 9 times more likely to commit suicide after divorce than women (Familylife stat).
Synergy - you’re better together.
1 Clydesdale can pull 2 tons, 2 together can pull 22 tons.
Raising up godly children.
Gen.1:28 - Be fruitful and multiply.
Pastor Frank will talk more about this.
Mt.28:18-20 - The Great Commission!!!
Disciple them from day 1.
Every marriage will be fought against.
Jn.10:10 - As with life, Satan’s plan for your marriage is to steal, kill and destroy; God’s is to give you a marriage full of life and abundance.
By your own flesh:
2 selfish people trying to live together - only by His grace!
By the worlds system.
Divorce is O.K., live for pleasure, etc.
Every marriage is either growing or dying, progressing or regressing.
No middle ground.
If you aren’t consciously growing, you’re passively regressing.
Things that make marriages failures: top reasons for divorce (and conflict in marriage!!!):
Money (indicative of more; communication, selfishness, irresponsibility, etc)
Infidelity (41% of married couples admit to infidelity; 57% of men and 54% of women admit that they’ve committed infidelity in every relationship they’ve had - Familylife stat).
Adultery is searching for something you already have.
If you are in, starting or contemplating an affair you need to break it off this weekend.
Remember Mt.5:28 - Porn, lust, etc.
Destroy your attraction to and desire for your wife.
Become an addiction you can’t control.
What you lust after keeps you from what you seek after.
Ex. Porn keeps you from a satisfying sex life.
Ex. Desiring riches keeps you from enjoying what you have.
All men need help in the lust area - don’t stand alone.
Be careful about your attraction!!!
You have control over your attraction.
Don’t hold your wife up to other womens’ stadards.
Learn to be attracted to the right things.
Pr.31:30 - “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.”
Pr.31: 10-31 - Virtuous, capable (talented), wise, resourceful (Nadene Clemens example), energetic, strong, a dilligent worker, kind (Erin), a good overseer of her home and most importantly, loves God.
This kind of wife “greatly enriches your life,” “helps you” and she is the kind of wife that “is to be praised.”
1 Peter 3:2-4 - Purity, godly behavior and the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit
These qualities are “very precious to God.”
Change in priorities
Lack of commitment to the marriage
Failed expectations and
Abuse (physical, emotional, verbal or sexual)
Barna, 3/31/2008 - 33% of all adults in america who have been married, have had at least one divorce.