Summary: WE can heal from the pain of conflcit, but we need to do it the way Jesus calls us to do so!


• SLIDE #1

• Over the past two weeks during our mini-series, we have been looking at the fun and uplifting subject of conflict. Well maybe not a fun and uplifting subject.

• In week one we examined some ways in which we could prevent conflict before it gets started. Last week in week two we saw how our words could either pour water on a fire.

• Today we will conclude our series with the issue of healing from the hurt of conflict.

• What do we need to do so that we can heal, what do we need to do so that the pain will not act like a ball and chain for the rest of our lives?

• Something that is important for us to realize is this, restoration or a relationship, healing from the pain starts with you!

• We have a tendency to focus on our hurt, our pain instead of our hearts, our actions, and our attitudes.

• As long as we keep the focus on OUR hurt, OUR pain, the wrong done to us we will have an extremely hard time experiencing the joy of the restoration of a once broken relationship or the joy of full healing from the hurt caused by conflict.

• I see it a lot in people, they cannot let go so they live with destroyed relationships and they let the pain cripple their lives.

• We need to focus on some areas so that we can do our part to rebuild the relationship that is left in tatters from conflict.

• We will not always be able to restore a broken relationship BUT we can all heal from the hurt if we choose to.

• Let us begin our exploration today in Ephesians 4:25!

• SLIDE #2

Ephesians 4:25 (HCSB) Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another.

• SLIDE #3


I. Focus on speaking the truth.

• We talked about making sure that our words helped people to discern the truth from error.

• Now as we heal from the hurt, we need to make sure that we SPEAK the truth.

• We to make sure our words about the conflict or any other situation are 100% truthful.

• Lying includes more than simply telling direct falsehoods. It also includes exaggeration, adding falsehood to that which begins as true. MacArthur New Testament Commentary, The - MacArthur New Testament Commentary – Ephesians.

• The issue of speaking truth also includes misrepresentation and deceit in what we say.

• If we were in error in our thinking when it came to the conflict, we need to make sure that we do not let subtly imply that the other party was 100% at fault.

• In the direct context of the passage, people were being hurt by others who were following false teaching, and there were those who were covering up their mistake by not being truthful about it.

• The key to the whole message today, the key to being able to being able to heal from the hurt is found in the simple word in verse 25 SINCE! Really?


• All the steps Paul will list for us is predicated on our ability to set aside the hurt and pain and make sure we act and react like one who has been transformed.

• This is spelled out for us in verses 20-24, but verse 24 hits the point directly.

• SLIDE #4

Ephesians 4:24 (HCSB) you put on the new self, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.

• We need to always be mindful of WHO we are in Christ. We need to always remember that we are to conduct ourselves as citizen of Heaven!

• We are a NEW CREATION in Christ; do not let anyone or anything convince you otherwise.

• The pain and hurt can be overcome through Jesus if we let Him do His work in us!

• WE have to realize we cannot bring restoration to a relationship based on falsehoods. A relationship can only be built back on the backbone of truth.

• We will never heal properly if we do not accept and embrace the truth about what disrupted the relationship in the first place.

• Let’s turn to verses 26-27

• SLIDE #5

Ephesians 4:26–27 (HCSB) 26 Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and don’t give the Devil an opportunity.

• SLIDE #6

II. Focus on not letting your anger control you.

• There is something I like in this verse, anger in itself is not a SIN!

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