Healthy Conflict Resolution Series

OUTLINE

FAMILY MATTERS Part 3

May 28, 2023 - Memorial Day Weekend

Dr. Tom Bartlett

HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Marital conflict areas: (next week)

Communication

Sex

Money

Children

Inlaws

BIBLICAL STEPS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Ephesians 4:29–5:2 (NIV) 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5:1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

CONFLICT HAPPENS WHEN WE

USE POOR WORD CHOICES

Ephesians 4:29a (NIV) “ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths. . .”

“Unwholesome” rotten, life-taking

Proverbs 15:4 (ESV) A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

DON’T USE GOOD WORDS

Ephesians 4:29b (NIV) “. . . but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

“Helpful” to establish and support

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

FORGET HOW WE MAKE GOD FEEL

Ephesians 4:30 (NIV) And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

“Grieve” to feel sorrow

HAVEN’T ADDRESSED OUR OWN ISSUES

Ephesians 4:31 (NIV) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”

Bitterness - envious and resentful

Rage and anger - out-of-control fury

Brawling and slander - vile shouting, harmful accusations

Malice - wickedness with hostility

HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT FORGIVENESS

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

“Compassionate” - a choice of how to respond

Truth - one of the most compassionate things we can do is to listen to one another

James 1:19 (NIV) My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

OUR CONFLICT SOLUTION IS TO

LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY LIKE GOD

Ephesians 5:1-2a (NIV) “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love. . .”

Proverbs 16:7 (NIV) When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

LIVE SACRIFICIALLY JUST LIKE CHRIST

Ephesians 5:2b (NIV) “. . . just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Next Step - In order to have a healthy relationship, I will seek to personally love like God and live sacrificially like Jesus

MANUSCRIPT

FAMILY MATTERS Part 3

May 28, 2023 - Memorial Day Weekend

Dr. Tom Bartlett

HEALTHY CONFLICT RESOLUTION

ME

Good morning, and welcome to our memorial day weekend service. My name is Tom Bartlett and I’m a pastor here at Celebration Church.

I’d like to throw out a special word of thanks to our mission team who served in KY last weekend and for the special Mission Market next Saturday here at the church. You can order your chicken or BBQ plate online as I’ve already done. We will have vendors offering their items, music, and more while we raise funds for our India Church Building.

—-----------------------

My wife Carla and I have been married for 19 wonderful years, well, actually we’ve been married for 28 years but only 19 have been wonderful!! (lol)

As I look back to the major blowups we’ve had, they simply boil down to a few issues, a lack of understanding which stems from communication problems and the other is unresolved issues from our own past.

If you were never in a serious relationship there are many quirks about you that would never have been known or addressed in your life. Relationships help us understand, we’re not perfect!

WE

Can you agree with that? You’re not perfect.

[Joke] It reminds me of the lady who said she married Mr. Right! After they were married she realized his first name was “always”.