Summary: Lessons from Noah and the Ark



This morning we are continuing the sermon series on the stained glass windows. I started this series because I believe that each one of the pictures in the stained glass windows has something to say to us about who God is. Each picture has something to teach us about the person and the nature of God. Today we’re going to consider the stained glass window that has the picture of Noah’s Ark.

The story of Noah and the Ark is one of the oldest and the most well-known stories in the world. Many different people and many different cultures have a story about a flood. It is universal. But you know, when I was a kid, we had a word for stories like this. Do you know what we called stories like Noah and the Ark? We called them “whoppers.” Truly, this is an amazing and incredible story. Let me illustrate.


John: Well, it’s another day at the offices of Conner & Winters, attorneys at law. Another day fighting for justice and the American Way. Another day defending our corporate clients against the lunatic fringe. Hmm, let’s see what kind of devious brief I can write today.

God: John.

John: [Picking up the telephone.] Conner & Winters - John Bugg speaking.

God: John.

John: Yes, who’s there?

God: John, it’s Me [echoing].

John: Who is this?

God: Has it been so long that you do not recognize My voice?

John: Huh?

God: Put down the phone, John. It’s Me -- GOD [echoing].

John: [Putting down the phone] What is this?

God: I have a mission for you.

John: Is this some kind of joke?

God: This is no joke, John. I have decided to destroy the world.

John: Oh my God.

God: Yes, John. Listen carefully. There is an invisible, undetectable wave of subatomic particles traveling through space. It is headed toward this planet. It will reach the earth in one hundred years. When it hits, every living thing will die.

John: Are you sure you want to do that?

God: As much as it breaks My heart, yes. I cannot stand the evil any longer.

John: Should I warn everybody?

God: Yes, but it will not do any good. They will not listen. I’ve tried.

John: You said you had a mission for me?

God: Yes. I want you to build a space shuttle.

John: Have you lost your ...?


John: Yes, Lord.

God: You will build a space shuttle! After it is built, I will gather two of every living creature - male and female - to travel with you into space. When the wave of destruction has passed, you will return to earth. This is the only way to save My creation.

John: Whatever you say, Lord.

God: Here are the plans for the space shuttle. [Pause] You may want to take this down.

John: [Picking up a pad and pencil.]

God: You should probably use your computer to save this information. It will take you almost one hundred years to complete the project.

John: No kidding.

God: I suggest you use WordPerfect. Are you ready?

John: Yes, Lord.

God: You shall make the space shuttle out of gopher fibers. You shall make the space shuttle with plenty of rooms. You shall cover it inside and out with pitch filament to protect against the subatomic wave.

John: I know you said not to ask any questions, but what are gopher fibers and pitch filament?

God: I said not to question Me. I did not forbid you to ask questions. There is a difference. But your questions can wait till later.

John: Yes, Lord.

God: Now these are the dimensions of the space shuttle. The length of the space shuttle shall be 450 feet. Its width shall be 75 feet. And its height shall be 45 feet. Are you getting this?

John: Yes, Lord. 450 by 75 by 45.

God: You shall also make a window in the space shuttle and place it 18 inches from the top. Put a door in the side of the space shuttle and make it with lower, second and third decks. That will do to get you started. Do you have any questions?

John: I have a million, but could you do me one favor?

God: Ask, and it shall be given; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened.

John: What?

God: State your request.

John: Would you please clear this with my wife, because she is never going to believe me?

God: I’ll try.

[End Skit]

How would you like to come home and tell your wife that story? It is an amazing and incredible story. It is also a very disturbing one.

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