How To Control Your Anger Series

first of all, we will personally be responsible for creating havoc in the relationships that we have.

Number 2, we ourselves will be guilty of not only anger but many of the sins that anger leads us into.

Proverbs 14:29, "A quick-tempered man displays folly."

Proverbs 14:17, "A quick-tempered man does foolish things."

Proverbs 11:29, "He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind."

Here is the point. Whenever I lose my temper, I lose. You don’t make it to the top, if you are continually blowing your top. I don’t know if you have realized it or not but the word "danger" is "anger" with a "d" in front. Anger is dangerous. You could lose your family, your job, and your health by losing your temper. Anger always alienates.

III. I NEED TO THINK RATHER THAN THROW MY TANTRUM

In other words, don’t respond impulsively. Read with me Proverbs 29:11, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." That is very clear, isn’t it? Circle the words "under control."

Proverbs 29:11 (The Living Bible):"A rebel shouts in anger; but a wise man holds his temper in and cools it."

You could say that a wise man knows how to chill out. How do you keep your self "under control?" By delaying. I am not talking about months. I am talking about minutes. When you begin to feel the pressure build, take time out. What is the best method of correcting a child? Give him a time out session. We could all follow that advice at times. When you don’t stop and think, you will almost always do the wrong thing.

It was President Thomas Jefferson who said, "When you get angry, count to ten. When you are really angry, count to a hundred." That is good advice.

Notice Proverbs 19:11, "A man’s wisdom gives him patience." He is telling us to try to understand our anger.

We need to ask ourselves when anger comes in our life,

(1) why am I angry? And if I express that anger, number two,

(2) what will happen?

(3) will the expression of my anger really resolve the issue?

Why am I angry? Anger is never the root problem. It is a symptom or a warning light. There is obviously something wrong. Anger is a symptom telling you that one of three things is happening in your life. The three causes of anger are hurt, fear and frustration. When I am angry, I need to ask myself which of these three things is causing me to be angry.

IV. I NEED TO COMMUNICATE MY ANGER CORRECTLY

Read with me Ephesians 4:26, "In your anger do not sin." Now this verse implies that there is a way to become angry and not sin. Is all anger sin?

No! God gets angry. He is the One who gave you the capacity to get angry. He is saying that there are right ways to get angry and there are wrong ways. There are appropriate ways to get angry and there are inappropriate ways. Obviously, you need to learn to express your anger in appropriate ways because nothing ruins a relationship quicker than fits of anger. I am convinced that most of you can get from a relationship what you need if you learn to express your anger in appropriate ways.