Summary: What causes conflict and how to handle it in your marriage
Title: Handling conflict in marriage
1.We are in week 2 of a 4 week series on marriage.
2.Week 1 – We looked at God’s design for marriage
A.God designed marriage to show the world the image of God
“In the image of God he created them. Male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27
B.God designed marriage to meet our need for companionship
“It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him.” Genesis 2:18
3.This week we want to look at the subject– How to handle conflict in marriage
Conflict in marriage is not necessary a bad thing. There are certain conflicts that strengthen a marriage.
Here we want to look at -How to handle conflict that hurts the marriage.
Today’s sermon has two parts.
Part one: How to cause conflict in marriage
Part two: How to handle conflict in marriage
1.How to cause conflict in marriage (James 4:1-12)
“What causes fights and quarrels among you?
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
The #1 cause of Conflict is Selfishness (v1-2)
, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
So often the issue is simply "I want to have my own way".
James says we all battle with selfishness.
C. When one spouse does not get their own way conflict happens
2.A second way to cause conflict in marriage is found in v3-4
3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. 4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?
Worldliness is another big cause of conflict in marriage.
Why: Because it is a form of adultery.
Anything - except God that we put before our spouse is a form of adultery.
An affair with your job, hobbies…
James address two areas where worldliness can creep into our marriage
1.The area of finances
“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (v3)
The reality: Money is a huge source of conflict in a lot of marriages
Here in verse 3 the issue is -Where the money is being spent…
2.The second area where worldliness can show up in a marriage is the area of Friendships
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? (v4)
Is there anything wrong with being friends with non-Christians? No! Jesus was a friend of sinners.
When is it wrong to be friends with non-Christians? When they influence you or your spouse to turn away from God’s design for marriage.
1.To show the world the image of God
2.To meet our need for companionship
3.The third way to cause conflict in marriage is Prayerlessness (v2)
“You do not have, because you do not ask God. “
You are quarreling and fighting with one another - because you are not praying together.
Statistics- Spouses who pray together stay together