Summary: There are five things which keep a marriage and your love growing
How to Keep Your Love Growing
A woman wrote to Dear Abby: “Do all marriages eventually go stale? Ours has. My husband and I don’t seem to have much to talk about any more. We used to talk about our kids but now they’re grown and gone. Now I have no major complaints about my husband but the old excitement just isn’t there anymore. We watch a lot of television. We read a lot. And we have fun with some friends. But when we’re alone together it’s pretty dull. We even sleep in separate bedrooms now. Is there some way to recapture the old magic?” Reader’s Digest reports that the number one question people ask marriage counselors is “Why don’t we love each other the way we used to?” The truth is every marriage is always either growing together or growing apart. Because it’s a relationship, a living, breathing thing, it never stands still. Relationships never stand still. There are five things which keep a marriage and your love growing.
First, keep on paying attention. Attention means love. It’s the most loving thing you do when you give somebody your attention. When you’re paying attention to somebody you’re saying to them, “I value you. You matter to me. You’re worth listening to.” When you give somebody your attention, you’re actually giving them your life because your time is your life and you’re never going to get that time back. So the most valuable thing you can give somebody is your attention. When you give them that you are actually giving them a part of yourself.
The truth is that’s how you fell in love. You began to pay attention to somebody and they began to pay attention to you. If that hadn’t happened, you would have never fallen in love. And that became the beginning of a relationship. Marriage takes a lot of attention. Do you remember how much attention you used to give to your husband or your wife before you got married? You bought flowers, you wrote notes, you made phone calls. You talked for hours. You spent a lot of time together. In many, many ways during dating and engagement you said, You have my undivided attention. In fact, you thought about them all the time when you weren’t with them.
What happened? You don’t think about your husband/wife all the time now. Your attention shifted. You got complacent. You began to take things for granted. And over time we tend to pay less and less attention to our spouse and more attention to things like bills, babies, budgets, career, hobbies and sports. All of a sudden your husband/wife is no longer the focus of attention of your life. When that happens, the marriage begins to deteriorate. Write this down: I show I care by staying aware. If your marriage is going to keep on growing you’ve got to figure out a way to keep on paying attention to each other. If you don’t do that, your marriage is going to start to crumble. You’ve got to keep on paying attention.