Summary: Third in a series on family living from a Biblical persepctive.

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HEB 13:4

Sunam 2/17/02

Heb 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

For those who have been torn apart because of a broken relationship please know that God is able to heal, restore, and rebuild your life to wholeness again! To those whose children are turning away from God – keep praying that their independent spirit will have a declaration of DEPENDENCE.

Still the Biblical Family model should be preached because Satan will not stop until he has attempted to destroy the Biblical family unit.

It has often been referred as the “nuclear family” because it supposedly got it’s beginnings in the beginning of the nuclear age. But the traditional family unit has been around for centuries! God honored it, and called us to be stewards over our relationships.

Now there are three Greek words for Love – Eros, Phileo, and Agapeo.

A clear understanding of the meaning of these words will help the family to live according to the Biblical design of God!


A. World derives the word Erotic - The word literally means physical love for one’s spouse:

1. Our verse states it best – “Let the marriage bed be pure.”

a. History proves that immorality was so common place that the church had to be held to a clear distinctive founded upon the Law - Which said that any physical contact outside that which is permitted only to married persons is strictly prohibited.

b. It is even clearer as we see the final statement in this verse – “for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”.

c. Now today’s culture is a more sophisticated form of the Greek lifestyle, but none the less, immorality is so common place that young people are led to believe two things:

 That the stories their friends tell them about their triumphant exploits are true.

 That the public schools are truly teaching our children what is good for them – which is “They are doing it anyway, we should provide education, and prevention (without teaching abstention!

2. What Bible teaches is that we are to be pure in our relationships with our spouse!

a. Not only are we to avoid physical contact with another person, but Jesus even stated it is considered sinful to even look upon a person with a heart filled with desire!

Summary: Eros is Biblical, physical love exchanged between a man and his wife. That marriage bed is to be kept pure. It is our Christian distinctive!

If a relationship is established on Eros, and Eros is the goal to be maintained, this relationship will not last! Every relationship must go deeper than mere Eros!


A. Phileo – literally is the warmth of friendship – the feelings that come from a meeting of the minds.

Rom 12:10 - Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.

1. It is affection for one another – as one would have toward a close friend. This kind of relationship calls of some careful treatment!

a. Giving honor to one another. Showing respect.

b. Sharing ideas and finding solutions.

c. Having fun together – playing a board game, laughing at the children, sharing memories, even teasing one another with kindness.

Summary: It is to enjoy one another’s company – It is to fully appreciate the uniqueness of that person – it is to enjoy the way they compliment you in your relationship. It is to be friendly toward one another. Really – you can do it! Make nice!

B. Making nice –

1. Offer to lend a hand:

a. To get the coffee, tea, or newspaper.

b. To help clean up – To pick up the kids – to wash the car – To ask whether your spouse would enjoy what you are watching on TV.

More than Eros, Phileo says you are more than my lover, you are my friend, and I am your friend!

Our homes should be a place where fellowship, joy and relaxation can abound! As couples, we are called upon to provide a home where the pressures of work can be relieved!

The home is a place of peace – where we share the joys of life, the triumphs of a good day, and the sorrows of defeat. The family is the place of solace- a respite from the hassles of everyday life.

But if we stay at the wonderful balance of Eros, and Phileo, than the relationship will still struggle with longevity – For a long lasting relationship is only hopeful if we employ Eros, Phileo, and ….

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