Summary: The relationship between Husband and Wife

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I Peter 3:1-12

Ephesians 5:22,25, 33

Wives – adornment of beauty that will last (comes from within).

God’s marriage plan:


Submit to husband (being a doer of the Word) – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” God is not asking a person to stay in an abusive relationship (ongoing abuse – unrepentant). God is not permitting the mate to be a “0” in the relationship.


Give honor as like a weaker vessel. Ephesians 5:25, “Husband, love your wives as Christ.” Wife’s model is like church subject to Christ (v24). Husband’s model is the head of wife.

I Cor 11:3 – Christian order

Spiritual head – Christ head of the man. Man is the head of the wife and God is the head of Christ. The man is not the boss in the spiritual. Spiritual headship in the home. We love our wives as Christ loved the church.


Jesus is the initiator of love

Jesus is the initiator of every relationship

Jesus is the initiator of spiritual principles

Wife is the responder not the initiator. Like Christ – the husband always keeps his part of the covenant. The church can always depend on Jesus and the wife is always to be able to depend on the husband. Jesus is the same yesterday – today – forever!!! (He is not moody after a hard day at work). Jesus never has a bad day nor leaves me or forsakes me. The wife is to be the apple of the husband’s eye. The husband willingly lays down his life for the wife.

Question: What is the measuring stick of Christian husbands?

Answer: Christ’s response to the church

I Peter 3:7 – Live within an understanding way (knowledge)

What understanding?

1. In relationship to understand of the Word of God

2. In relationship to understand of them (observer of the wife)

“My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge”

Marriages are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.

Wives – think differently than husbands

5 Ways to Love Your Wife

1. He protects us from evil (James 3:16)

I’m to be the initiator to stop strife in my house

2. He is to provide for (John 3:16)

Gives meaning to the items received

3. He is to praise her (Phil 2:5-8, Rom 5:8)

God always builds up the church

God is not condemning the church

God is never putting the church down

Husbands take the blame for the wife

Husbands praise

4. He prays for her (Heb 7:25)

When you pray the Word, you began to see her as God sees her.

Pray that:

a. She is filled with the Spirit of wisdom and revelation

b. She is strengthened with all might in her inner man, rooted and grounded in love.

c. She walks worthy of the Lord and bearing fruit in every good work

d. She dwells in the secret place of the Most high

5. Proclaim the Word over her (Eph 5:26)

“… sanctify by the washing of water with word …”

Results Eph 5:27 – that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without a blemish.

Results: a wife without spot or wrinkle, holy, and blameless.

Matt 11:28 – come to me all who are weary and heavy leaden and I will give you rest. As Christ effects us so should we husbands, effect our wives.

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