Summary: The Intentional Parent: Sets boundaries, Corrects purposefully, Invest wisely, Live honorably
This is us: Intentional Parenting. Ephesians 6:1-4
The Intentional Parent:
1. Sets boundaries v.1
Boundaries help the child feel safe.
Boundaries protect children from their own foolishness.
Boundaries limit narcissism and entitlement.
Boundaries help your child develop resilience.
2. Corrects purposefully. v.4 “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children.”
Setting out clear consequences.
Check your own emotions.
Make your goal Godly character.
3. Invest wisely: v.4
This takes time.
This takes instruction.
4. Live honorably v.2-3
Turn to Ephesians 6:1-4 if you will. We begin a new series entitled This is Us. We got the idea from the popular tv series (2018 series pic) by the same title. The tv series is a raw look into the complexity of the American family of the 21st century. It is of particular interest to me because my favorite ch
aracter in the series is Randall (pic). He was adopted by a white family the day he was born and the show gives me some insight into some of the challenges of my own grandson, Moses, (pic) whom we adopted 3 years ago this week.
In the tv series, you see marriages struggle, family dynamics get unhealthy, the value of relationships…it truly is an expose of the stresses and tensions every family has. And so will this series. We’ll talk about marriage next week. I don’t know about you, but my marriage needs all the help it can get. We’ll take on grief and suffering and abandonment in the weeks to come, and the importance of relationships. It’s going to be a great series and I think it’s going to be the kind of series that you can invite your friends to be a part of.
This morning tho we’re going to examine the topic of parenting. I know a little bit about parenting. I’ve got 3 kids, and they each are married so I consider them my children as well. That means I’ve got 6 children and 9 grandchildren that we’re around all the time. I don’t know that I’m an expert, but I sure have a large dossier of knowledge, mistakes, and wisdom on the subject.
I’ve observed in life that there are different styles of parenting. There is the authoritarian style (Pic of general) If that’s you,
You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
When it comes to rules, you believe it's "my way or the highway."
You don't take your child's feelings into consideration.
You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
You explain the reasons behind your rules.
You enforce rules and give consequences, but take your child's feelings into consideration.
You set rules but rarely enforce them.
You don't give out consequences very often.
You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.
You don't ask your child about school or homework.
You rarely know where your child is or who she is with.
You don't spend much time with your child.
Now, to tell you the truth, there have been times in my parenting that I was any or all of these. I look back at my years as a parent when the kids where still at home—from newborn til graduation and I can tell you I was anything but the model parent.
But like that song a couple of decades called “Butterfly Kisses”, with all that I did wrong, I must have done something right. (pic of my family attached)
And so I’d like to create kind of a 5th parenting style; and that is the Intentional style. Are you an intentional parent? An intentional parent is deliberate and purposeful.
Sue and I were predominantly intentional parents. We read everything we could get our hands on to help us in our parenting. There were no podcasts; no videos; and only a few Christian authors who tackled it. James Dobson was the best. His book, “The Strong Willed Child” (pic) was a life-saver for us.
Today’s parent has so many resources we never had: here at RC we have Faith Path (pic) and our At Home center that has all kinds of resources (hold up). RC has a subscrioption we pay a lot of money for so you can get all kinds of help from RightNowMedia (Logo)—hundreds and hundreds of resources for you. (how do they get on????)
But the best resource of course is the Bible. And the passage we’ll examine today gives us some great insight on how to be an intentional parent. Ephesians 6:1-4 (on screen)
The Intentional Parent: (build)
1. Sets boundaries v.1 “Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.” Now parents, I know what you’re thinking, “Hey Pastor Russ, this is aimed directly at the child.” And I agree. We had our children memorize this verse before they walk almost! It’s aimed at the child but it is indirectly aimed at you!