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Summary: What are some of the qualities a man needs to be a good dad?

Note: This is the sermon manuscript that Ben carried into the pulpit. Feel free to use it in any way to advance the kingdom of God.

Questions For God:

Is It Possible to Be a Good Dad? (Part 2)

Englewood Baptist Church

Sunday Morning, Aug. 24, 2008

Turn in your Bibles to Hebrews 12.

We have been talking about questions—questions that people often ask about God.

Last week, I read to you a letter to a pastor. The letter was from a 25-year old man who had just discovered that his wife is pregnant with a little boy. For those of you who missed last week, let me read it again.

Dear Pastor,

It is 3 A.M. right now and I am writing because I really need your help. My wife and I went to see an ultrasound of our baby last week. This is our firstborn and we are told that it’s a boy! I know I should be excited to have a fishin’ buddy—a little man to carry to ball games, but I could not sleep tonight. Here is why. I never had a daddy. My dad walked out on my mom when I was 2. I don’t have a single memory of him and I have no model for fatherhood. Is it possible for me to be a good dad?


Dwight R.

Last week, I began answering that question by opening the Bible and sharing 10 qualities that every family needs to see in a Dad. All of these qualities are taken straight from Scripture so don’t take my word for it, take God’s Word. Let me review the first five quickly so that we can move on.

10 Qualities Every Family Needs to See in a Dad

1.A Dad who is saved and walks with God. (Gen. 5:24; 6:9)

2.A Dad who regards the Bible as a treasure. (Ps. 119:11-16)

3.A Dad who lives by courageous conviction. (Joshua 24:14-15)

4.A Dad who makes everyone feel loved. (1 Cor. 13:1-5)

5.A Dad who showers mom with love and affection. (Eph. 5:25)

Dwight, if you are listening today. I hope that you wrote those down. Those are 5 essentials to be a good Dad in God’s eyes, but there is more. Let’s look at the next five…

6. A Dad who disciplines in love. (Hebrews 12:7-11)

The Bible is very clear that the Lord disciplines his children. His purpose in discipline is not to flex his muscle or to show off his strength. He is not venting his frustration with humanity by taking it out on you. He disciplines his children because He wants them to do well in this life and at the judgment. He wants them to experience righteousness and peace.

Look at this passage in Hebrews:

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live. Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:7-11

Do you see the assumption in the text? Verse 9 says, “We have all had fathers who disciplined us….” I don’t like what I’m about to say but this is what the Bible teaches. Are you ready? Correction belongs ultimately to the father rather than the mother.

Let me say that again…

Now this is tough. When you get home from work, men, you can see that your wife is frustrated and discouraged. The children have pushed her buttons. She says to you, “You need to deal with your son.” The temptation is to walk into that room with your son and say something like this, “Son, your mama is having a bad day. You just need to stay in your room and give her a little space. Everything will be fine.” That’s the fleshly way to respond, and it cuts the knees out from under your wife. She is now the moody tyrant who can’t hold it together and you are nice, happy man that calms everyone down. That’s not right. That is putting all the discipline on her.

My wife needs me to wear the black hat sometimes. That is not pleasant. Look at v.11. It says that no discipline is pleasant. It’s not pleasant for anyone, the one giving it or the one taking it, but it is necessary to produce righteousness and peace in your son.

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