Summary: A message telling how to keep the marriage relatiosnhip from burning out. Text, outline, MP3, and powerpoint will be placed at

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I don’t know about you, but I love Mexican food. And I have found out something very important about eating Mexican food: No matter what you order, it always tastes better if you put some salsa on it.

It is good without the salsa, but it is even better with it. Why? Because salsa is made up of seasonings and spices, and in the right mixture, spices add much flavor. That’s where they get the old saying, “Spice up your life.”

If you think about it, you can spice up any area of your life to make it more flavorful; more exciting; and more interesting. You can spice up your relationship with Jesus by adding reading time and prayer time to your daily life. You can spice up your church experience by attending more and getting more involved. And you can spice up your marriage by devoting more time and thought to putting it first, even above your own personal desires.

Now, talking about desires, it is necessary to point out that men and women generally have two different priority lists. This is made evident in an email I received this past week. It is supposed to be from a man writing Dear Abby.

He tells her that he thinks his wife is cheating on him, and he gives her several situations that point to that. Then he says she went out for a night on the town and when it came time for her to come home, he went out and hid at the side of the garage, crouched down behind his motorcycle.

He said that is when he noticed it was leaking oil. Then he asked for her advice … should he try to fix it himself or have the dealer fix it? That shows how husbands and wives tend to think on different levels. And to have a happy marriage, it is necessary to realize that and work with it.

In every marriage, each partner must strive to continually communicate openly with each other. And that means thinking about your spouses feelings instead of just thinking about your feelings.

When you cross that river from single life to married life, it is like going into uncharted territory, isn’t it? Most of us go into marriage thinking everything is going to be fine ever after. It doesn’t take long, however, to realize that everything will not be fine ever after. Marriage is filled with many difficulties, many of which can derail the marriage and hurt your spouse.

One area that can cause problems in a marriage is when one person forgets.


What was Dave’s downfall? He got so busy doing other things, he forgot to remember something that meant very much to his wife. He forgot their anniversary. And then, he did what many of us have been guilty of; he tried to cover it up without really putting any thought into it.

Whether you are the husband or the wife, one very critical thing to remember in the marriage relationship is to strive to always make your spouses feelings one of your highest priorities.

There are several points I want to make about marriage. The first being …


God created marriage for our fulfillment and happiness. And since God is the One who created it, we should do everything we can to keep God at the center of it.

Did you know that there are times when the husband is the stronger of the two? And what does he do during these times? He offers support to the wife, doesn’t he? Why does he do this? He does this because he has an instinct in his heart to love, help, and protect his wife.

And then there are times when the wife is the stronger of the two. During these times, she must work at not being his boss, or the leader of the home. Here is what the Lord says about how they must feel towards one another.

EPHESIANS 5:25 says,

‘Husbands, love your wives.’

EPHESIANS 5:33 says,

‘… and the wife must respect her husband.’

Okay, how many of you husbands act in a way that doesn’t show love to your wives? How many of you wives act in such a way that shows no respect towards your husbands?

The husband is commanded by God to love his wife. That isn’t an option; it is an order he has been given. But even so, it seems that sometimes, the love and respect slip away and our marriage starts to erode. We must realize that the love is still there, as strong as it ever was, but we don’t see it because the devil has let problems creep into your marriage that overshadow the love.

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