Summary: God may hate divorce, but He does not hate divorcees.
Restoration Road: The Journey to Overcoming 3 of 4
Life After Divorce
A For many people, divorce is like a funeral that never ends.
1 The reason divorce feels like death is because on of the cruelest deaths there is has occurred: the death of a marriage.
a If you lost your spouse to cancer, accident, or some other tragedy your pain (& ministry you receive) would be different.
aa Funeral: flowers, hugs, cards, phone calls, cooked food, donated money, invites to come over for Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. OUTPOURING OF SUPPORT
bb Divorce: Few bouquets, phone calls, the people you spent the last 10 years worth of thanksgivings with aren’t asking you over this year.
b With divorce, there is often no outpouring of support/sympathy that accompanies a physical death.
aa Divorced people feel alone and disgraced (Especially at church)
bb And, the initial pain is intense because of the ex-spouse is still around, disputes over child support, visitation, kids’s schooling, work?
cc Pain later: Adult children’s marriages, holidays and remarriage.
c I suggest to you minister to someone who is going through a divorce like you would minister to a widow.
aa I’ve seen a lot of bitter, angry widows in my time.
bb I heard two women say the exact same thing on the same day: One at a funeral the other on the day her husband told her he didn’t want to married to her more: “Why did he leave me like this?” “Why did he have to go?”
2 With a divorce rate hovering around 50%, there are few people in the Church who will not experience divorce personally or through a family member, friend or co-worker.
B God intended marriage to be for a lifetime but He also provided for life after divorce (Many churches/church people see marriage as for life & condemnation after divorce)
1 In Scriptures we see lots of talk about divorce, reasons for divorce, but for all the talk of divorce the Bible only records one (1) divorce, Jeremiah 3.6-8.
a There is enough in this thought to cause us to pause.
aa Couldn’t pastor, deacon, etc.
bb Custodian, yes. Trustee, yes. Choir, yes.
b There are two words most often associated with divorce in both the Old & New Testaments.
aa O.T.: Shallach. Ker-ee-thouth
bb Shallach: Means putting away, putting aside if wanted again. Women weren’t allowed to remarry if “put away.” Mal. 2.16 KJV
cc Ker-ee-thouth, Deut 24.1-2, Written divorce & women allowed to remarry.
c New Testament practices remained but words changed.
bb Other world is “apostation”” which means written divorce. KJV Matt.5.31.
cc We use separation & divorce interchangeably but the bible doesn’t!
C Divorce happens and God knows it.
1 When Jesus encountered a woman that had multiple divorces at a well he invited her to worship (John 4.16-19) when many in the church would have forced her out of line.
a You can work here, do stuff for us but we’ll lead our own worship, thank-you.