Summary: This is a series based on Dr. Gary Smalley’s book, The DNA of Relationships. Dr. Smalley reveals in this first lesson that we are created for three relationships...with God, others, and ourselves.
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
(THE DNA OF RELATIONSHIPS PART 1)
A. We are starting a new series of lessons today entitled: The DNA of Relationships based on the book written by the renowned Family and Relationships Expert, Dr. Gary Smalley.
1. Today’s lesson is: LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.
a. That should go without saying.
b. Unless you LIVE in a CAVE somewhere and completely ISOLATE yourself from people, every facet of your life touches a RELATIONSHIP in some way.
2. Everything we DO, everywhere we GO, we are in RELATIONSHIPS with other PEOPLE.
You have RELATIONSHIPS at HOME with your SPOUSE, your CHILDREN, your PARENTS, your SIBLINGS.
You have RELATIONSHIPS at WORK with your BOSS and your CO-WORKERS. You have RELATIONSHIPS with the people you go to CHURCH with. When you go GROCERY SHOPPING there are RELATIONSHIPS with other SHOPPERS and the CASHIER.
Even when you get on the ROAD and drive to DANVILLE, you are in RELATIONSHIPS with the other DRIVERS. These RELATIONSHIPS can be GOOD or BAD—it can be FRIENDLY or result in ROAD RAGE. Usually my RELATIONSHIP with other DRIVERS is: “You’re going to
3. The fact is, we are EFFECTED by RELATIONSHIPS every DAY and people are EFFECTED every day, either POSITIVELY or NEGATIVELY, by the RELATIONSHIP they have with us.
B. We are CREATED for RELATIONSHIPS, thus the title: The DNA of RELATIONSHIPS.
1. Our DNA is the very BUILDING BLOCK of who we are. God has placed within each HUMAN BEING a NEED to be with other people—a need for RELATIONSHIPS.
2. After Adam was CREATED, God looked upon the greatest of His creation and said, “It is not good for man to be ALONE…” – Genesis 2:18.
3. We need RELATIONSHIPS.
When those RELATIONSHIPS are GOOD—growing, nurturing, positive RELATIONSHIPS— LIFE is PRETTY GOOD, it’s ENJOYABLE and FULFILLING. But when our relationships GO SOUR—when they are STRAINED—it affects us in many ADVERSE WAYS.
When there are PROBLEMS at HOME or we’re having DIFFICULTY with one of our CO-WORKERS or we can’t GET ALONG with our NEIGHBOR or we are at ODDS with a FELLOW-CHRISTIAN, then our LIVES struggle. Rarely do we have a PROBLEM in our LIFE that is not connected in someway to a STRUGGLING RELATIONSHIP.
C. Since God CREATED us to NEED RELATIONSHIPS—He has also provided us INSTRUCTIONS in His Word to help us make our RELATIONSHIPS STRONG.
I. WE ARE HARDWIRED FOR THREE RELATIONSHIPS- Matthew 22:37-39 (READ and COMMENT)
Gary Smalley quotes a Dr. Allan Shore of UCLA, a neuroscientist and developmental psychologists as saying, “all humans are born to form attachments, that our brains are physically wired to develop in tandem with another’s through emotional communication, even before words are spoken. Our sense of right and wrong originates largely from our biologically primed need to connect with others.”
In other words, RELATIONSHIPS are TANTAMOUNT to our SPIRITUAL, PHYSICAL, and EMOTIONAL GROWTH.
A. We need a RELATIONSHIP with God.
1. Our RELATIONSHIP with God is the most IMPORTANT of all our RELATIONSHIPS.
a. God is our CREATOR, and He has CREATED us to NEED Him.
Yet, there are some people who say: “God and I had a FALLEN OUT years ago, I don’t have a RELATIONSHIP with Him.” Or you might hear: “I don’t BELIEVE in God!” or “I don’t NEED God!”
b. The fact is: We all NEED God whether we like or not.
In DESCRIBING God, Paul said: “In Him we LIVE and MOVE and have our BEING”- Acts 17:27. Without God we wouldn’t EXIST. So if you want to EXIST, then you NEED God.
c. Furthermore, We all have a RELATIONSHIP with God whether we WANT one or not.
We are CREATED in God’s IMAGE. We are SPIRITUAL BEINGS, and as SPIRITUAL BEINGS there is direct CONNECTION—RELATIONSHIP— between us and God. Now, we may not have a PERSONAL, INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Him. And granted, our RELATIONSHIP with God may be rather DYSFUNCTIONAL, but we ALL have a RELATIONSHIP with God nonetheless.
2. Whether we REALIZE it or not, our SPIRIT—our SOUL— yearns to be with God.
If you ask people what it would take to make them HAPPY, you’ll get answers like: MONEY, GOOD LOOKS, POPULARITY, PRESTIGE, SEX, etc. Why is it that there are those who have these THINGS and much MORE, and still can’t find HAPPINESS. They still have a VOID—a NEED—for something MORE.
They don’t realize it, but that “SOMETHING MORE” they CRAVE—that VOID that leaves EMPTINESS in their LIVES cannot be SATISFIED with anything this EARTH provides. It is a SPIRITUAL YEARNING that can only find FULFILLMENT in God.
B. We need RELATIONSHIPS with OTHERS.
1. Again, God said of Adam: “It is not good for man to be alone.”
In the Garden of Eden, Adam had a SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP with God. He gave Adam everything he NEEDED: a PERFECT ENVIRONMENT, all the FOOD he wanted, PURPOSEFUL WORK, dominion over all the ANIMALS. And yet God looked at Adam and said, “He needs more. He needs a COMPANION.”