Summary: Third part of marriage series



Ephesians 5:18-31


Two weeks ago, we considered the question of discovering God’s will for marriage. Our conclusion was, that it is not about finding God’s will for marriage, rather God is preparing you to become His will by working in you and through you to become the person God wants to use in your marriage.

The question that arises among many couples is after a few years, months or weeks, is HAVE I MISSED GODS WILL?

God has a plan for every marriage and every couple in a marriage relationship.

In Ephesians 5:18, Paul exhorts the belivers to “Be very careful, then, how you live not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Literally the phrase, be careful, means “looking around.” The Greek word carries the idea of precision and accuracy. It means, “See that you walk carefully, with exactness”.

The opposite would be walking carelessly and without proper guidance and forethought. We cannot leave the Christian life to chance. We must make wise decisions and seek to do the will of God. If this is true of life, it is especially true of marriage and our families.

Paul appeared to be saying, “Don’t walk in your sleep! Wake up! Open your eyes! Make the most of the day! In other words don’t just know what God’s will is…

Understand what Gods will is.

“Understanding” suggests using our minds to discover and do the will of God. God has a plan for your life and for your marriage and family. God wants you and I to not only know the facts but understand how we should live in accordance with His revealed will.

God’s will is revealed through prayer, circumstsances and most of all HIS WORD.

God’s word reveals 5 Practical ways to manage our marriage and family relationships!

The first imperative for knowing God’s will in marriage is…

1) Be Spirit-Controlled Completely, v.18

Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit,

It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we can walk in harmony as husbands and wives.

“Be filled with the Spirit” is God’s command. The command is plural, so it applies to all Christians and not just to a select few. The verb is in the present tense — “keep on being filled” — so it is an experience we should enjoy constantly and not just on special occasions. And the verb is passive. We do not fill ourselves but permit the Spirit to fill us.

Filled means “controlled by.” To be “filled with the Spirit” means to be constantly controlled by the Spirit in our mind, emotions, and will.

We have a choice to make Paul says. We can trust in the things and pleasures of the world to bring us happiness and fulfillment, or we can be filled with the Spirit.

We can either be controlled by the dictates of the flesh or by the power of the Holy Spirit who resides in us by faith.

Paul illustrates being controlled by the flesh as being drunk with wine. It is a temporary expereince that only ends in destruction and devestatiion

When Paul uses the metaphor of drunkenness, he is contrasting the difference between walking according to the flesh and be filled by the Holy Spirit. The choice is ours whether we will obey.

To walk according to the flesh is basically saying, I want life my way, and I will live it accordingly.

I have read how the Inuit in Canada and Greenland have traditionally hunted bear.

They will take a bone, preferably a wolf bone, and they will sharpen it at both ends.

Then they will coil it through the process, freeze it in blubber and lay it across one of the paths the bears travel. As the bear comes along he smells the blubber and in one gulp he takes it and swallows it, not knowing that it is just blubber on the outside, but on the inside there’s a sharp twisted, sharpened bone. And the minute he swallows it he’s dead. He doesn’t drop down just yet, but every move he makes, every step he takes, causes that bone to twist and to slash and to tear and the internal bleeding starts and the hunters just follow the tracks of that bear until it finally dies.

It’s the same as the person who says, “I’m going to save my life, I’m going to keep my life for myself, I’m going to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, How I wish to do it. In others words, like the song says, “I’m going to do it my way.’

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