Summary: In this day of no fault divorce, I believe marriage still works!
Barna research shows:
That divorce in the church is just as common as outside the church. In the church 33%, outside the church 34%.
Also, the south is second in the nation in divorce. The south has a divorce rate of 35%, just behind the west (38%), and leading the Midwest (32%) and Northeast (28%).
Another striking percentage for us as Baptists is that we lead the nation’s major denominations in divorce rates at 29%. Protestant churches overall is at 25%.
The divorce rate amongst the generations is also a bit of surprise:
Seniors (73+) = 18%
Builders (53-72) = 37%
Boomers = 34%
Busters = 7% (Most of these are not old enough to
What does this say about marriage in America? Is it old fashioned. One scholar said that long term marriage commitment isn’t good for modern day America. An author suggested that our first marriage should be a starter marriage in the same since that our first homes are starter homes.
I disagree. God disagrees. Marriage, in the context of the Bible’s design for it, is still not only good for America, but necessary!
I. In order to maintain a quality marriage relationship, you have to know what true love really is.
The only true love is that which comes from God. Without a relationship with Jesus Christ, we can’t truly know what true love is.
A. In order to know what true love is, we must discover the source of true love.
1. God is love.
2. He that loves not, knows not God. It is
IMPOSSIBLE to fall out of love!
3. True love NEVER fails.
B. In order to know what true love is, we must realize to what extent it goes.
1. True love is more than an emotion.
2. True love is unconditional.
3. True love is sacrificial.
4. True love is never-ending.
II. In order to maintain a quality marriage relationship, you have to have God in His proper place.
I was called by a man who wanted me to come and visit with him. We had already had some problems with him so I didn’t want to go alone. I called a deacon, Greg, and had him go with me. After ministering to this man for about 30 minutes with what I felt was no success, I was about ready to leave. That is when Greg spoke up and shared his testimony. In that testimony, he shared the triangle concept.
A. Greg’s Triangle
1. Positions: God @ top, husband & wife at
the other two points.
2. Progress: A move closer to God=a move
closer to spouse. As husband and wife move
towards God, they decrease the gap between
3. Protection: Closer to God, less room for
infiltration. The closer we are to God,
the smaller the triangle becomes. As a
result, the shorter distances reduces the
boundaries of the triangle.
B. World’s Triangle
1. Positions: Me on top, my spouse and God
make up the other two points.
2. Progress: While my wife might move closer
to God, she doesn’t move with me.
3. Protection: Keeps anything of a Spiritual
nature from infiltrating the relationship.
III. In order to maintain a quality marriage relationship, you have to build in defense systems to protect the relationship.
A. The best defense is an offense.
1. Have an actively growing relationship with
2. Seek to discover more and more of your
spouse each and every day: likes,
differences, fears, emotions, etc.
3. As Dennis Rainey would instruct: Pray with
your wife every single day!
B. Set ground rules for relationships with others. My
wife and I have established some rules that help
1. Never be alone with someone of the
opposite sex. Especially if he/she is
close in age. Always insist on their
spouse or yours being present.
2. Be cautious of any and all unnecessary
contact. While it might be completely
innocent, some might get the wrong