Summary: This sermon is a spoof. It's really about people's mistakes recorded in the Bible, but is put in this form to grab people's attention. It was well received and liked.
MISTAKES IN THE KING JAMES BIBLE
A. HUMOR: HE LOVED DRIVING TRAINS
1. In the early days of Texas, there was a man who drove trains for a living. He loved his job, but he was too reckless and caused a crash. He lived, but a one person died. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution.
2. As his last meal he requested a single banana. Then he was strapped into the electric chair, “Old Sparky.” The switch was flown, sparks flew and smoke filled the air- but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
3. An obscure old Texas law said that if an execution failed, it was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was to go free. Somehow, the man got a job again driving trains, had an accident, this time killing two people.
4. Again he was sentenced to execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, but nothing happened!
5. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. It all happened a third time – wreck, 3 deaths, sentenced to execution. This time at his last meal he requested 3 bananas.
6. "No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you walking out of here unharmed. No bananas!” The man was strapped into the electric chair, the switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- but the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
7. The man looked at the executioner and said "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
1. My subject tonight is “Mistakes In The King James Bible.”
2. Now some of you are saying to yourselves, "Oh! Our pastor has done it now! He has finally gone too far, saying bad things about our beloved King James Bible!"
3. Now, before you call Springfield, or get on Facebook and say, "Did you know that our pastor has departed from the faith?", you need to hold your horses until you hear me out!
4. I state emphatically that there are mistakes in the King James Bible! And by the time I get finished, you will be convinced the King James Bible is full of mistakes!
I. EVE MADE THE MISTAKE OF LISTENING TO THE DEVIL
A. WHAT HE SAID
Genesis 3:2-6 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: 3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. 4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
B. IT’S ALWAYS A MISTAKE TO LISTEN TO DEVIL
1. Lying is his native language, John 8:44.
2. He is a master of twisting things, even taking truth and twisting it around to be error.
3. He never has your good in mind, but only harm.
4. We should be careful who we listen to because bad company corrupts good character. 1 Cor. 15:33.
5. We should listen only to God’s Word and other godly sources when forming opinions, making choices, and deciding a direction.
II. ABRAHAM MADE THE MISTAKE OF TAKING LOT WITH HIM
A. WHAT HE DID
Genesis 12:1,4-5 Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee…. 4 So Abram departed, as the LORD had spoken unto him….5 And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came.
B. GOD: ‘COME OUT FROM AMONG THEM’
1. The Bible talks a lot about evil associations. Prov. 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
2. Usually we’re supposed to try to convert our families, but sometimes it’s necessary we leave our families.
3. Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Abram was told to leave his family.
4. Lot caused Abraham a lot of trouble:
a. Strife between their servants (Gen. 13).
b. Had to fight 4 kings to rescue Lot & family Gen. 14.