Summary: Helping people avoid the common myths that hinder us from enjoying marriage
Myths About Love and Marriage
Dr. David Ibeleme
1. The "Perfect Couple" Syndrome.
There is no perfect couple. No Marriage is "made in heaven" - Matt. 22:25-30.
"You" are not anybody’s rib - Gen. 2:22ff.
Marriage is a perfect relationship between two imperfect people.
It’s the union not the couple that is perfect - Hebs. 13:4.
2. The "Best Spouse" Syndrome.
Your spouse is not the best husband/wife in the world.
"Best" indicates comparing three (3) objects.
Stop comparing your spouse with someone else or someone else’s.
Be content with him/her being "good" - Pr. 18:22.
3. No Human Element in Choosing Your Spouse.
Marriage is an "earthly phenomenon not a heavenly one". It is heavily dependent on man’s choice and God respects this fact - Deut. 30:19ff; Is. 1:19; Gen. 24:8, 57ff.
You have the responsibility of choosing your spouse - Pr. 18:22 says "he (not God) that findeth".
God can lead you in choosing your spouse but He does not choose your spouse for you - Gen. 24:27.
4. Marriage Is The Way To Find True Happiness.
If this was so then Jesus and the Apostle Paul must have lived really sad lives.
The Bible would have encouraged everyone to marry - 1 Cor. 7:25-26.
The analogy of the flies and the dead body - "out wanting in and in wanting out".
5. Pre-Marital Counselling Immunes You From Attacks
No counselling can prevent attacks to your marriage - 2 Tim. 3:12.
Whether you build your house on solid rock or on sand the winds, storms and the rains are bound to come, its not if but when - Lk. 6:46-49.
Counselling is designed to help you handle the attacks not to stop them.
Get counselling either directly or in-directly.
6. Christians Do Not And Cannot Divorce
So many believers are getting divorced these days.
There are scriptural grounds for divorce - Deut. 24:1-3; Mat. 5:31ff; 1 Cor. 7:12ff
Do not take your marriage for granted.
God hates divorce so we must fight to preserve our marriages - Mal. 2:14ff.
7. Your Marriage Cannot Be Saved
We can choose to save our marriages - Is. 1:19; Deut. 30:19.
No marriage is doomed to be destroyed once the "participants" choose to save it.
No marriage is beyond redemption once the individuals involved are willing to salvage it - Neh. 4:14ff
With God all things are possible - Lk. 1:37.
8. Once You "Love" Someone Satisfaction Is Guaranteed
The union needs more than the two people who believe they love one another.
Marriage impacts on others besides the two individuals that are married Gen. 24/29.
Several factors like backgrounds, cultures and socio-economic status are important.
Even disease conditions like sickle disease carrier state can impact on who you marry.
9. Your Spouse Is Your Enemy
We do not wrestle against flesh and blood - Eph. 6:12.
The devil and his cohorts are our real enemies not our spouses - 1 Pet. 5:8.
Seeing your spouse as your enemy will not exempt you from having to love him/her - Mat. 5:44.
10. Marriage Has Lost Its Usefulness
Marriage is honourable in all - Hebs. 13:4.
God values and honours marriages - Mal. 2:14ff.
Irrespective of the people’s experiences or prevailing societal values