Summary: A Message to Single Adults. Nearly ten years of my ministry was spent ministering to the needs and hurts of Singles. This message came out of that ministry.
Myths About Marriage
What is a myth? - "A myth is viewed as an idea or ideal, based on a half truth, which presents a distorted picture of reality."
Single adults when faced with rejection, loneliness, or sexual tensions, often find it easy to romanticize or fanaticize about an ideal marriage rather than having a more realistic view.
At least five marital myths exist of which Christian Single Adults should be aware.
I. The First Myth Is The Belief That Happiness Is Dependent Upon Marriage.
1. If this were true - why are there so many divorces.
2. When an unhappy person marries an unhappy person you often get two unhappy people rather than two happy people. You sometimes get multiplied unhappiness, not subtraction.
3. Even if you are in the perfect marriage its no guarantee for happiness.
4. Happiness is a by-product of a right relationship with God, with others, and with yourself.
II. The Second Myth Is The Myth That Sexual Expression Is Solved By Being
1. Having the legal an moral right to another’s body is not an assurance of intimacy, nor does it lay to rest sexual dissatisfaction
2. You can bring sexual baggage into marriage.
3. "You can have sex without intimacy and you can have intimacy without sex."
III. The Third Myth Is The Belief That Financial Security Can Insure Marital
1. In other words the belief that "Money can buy happiness."
2. What does this involve?
a. Looking for someone "financially secure" to marry.
b. Waiting until we can "afford to get married."
c. It involves looking at things and not God.
3. We are to love people and use things - instead we often love things and use people.
4. The key here is to realize that material things do not ultimately satisfy.
My "father in the ministry" is an elderly pastor who was forced to retire from the ministry because of serious health problems. He and his wife have very little. They live in a small apartment over a garage. In the things of this world they have very little but in the things that really matter in this world, they are rich.
You would never know a happier couple. Their love for one another is obvious as is their happiness and contentment. Their greatest concern is not about money but who will take care of the other one when they are gone.
IV. The Fourth Myth Is The Belief/Hope That External Counseling Either Before
Or After Marriage Is An Insurance Policy For A Successful Marriage.
1. "Counseling" is not a "magic wand" for all life’s problems.
2. The key is to view counseling as an "investment" in a relationship and not an insurance policy.
V. The Fifth Myth Is The Belief That A Shared Christian Commitment Between
Two Believers Guarantees An Enduring And Faithful Marriage.
1. The key here is viewing Christian marriage like Christian living. The Christian life is a process of growth and maturing.
2. The Christian marriage is also a process of growth.
a. The public vows - then
b. The honeymoon - then
c. The problems - then
d. The disenchantment - then
e. The misery - then
f. The reawakening - then
g. The True Love