Summary: Building trust within a marriage. God wants us to be uninhibited, transparent within marriage.
Becoming One Flesh
Part 2, Naked and not ashamed: trust.
The book of Genesis records for us the original marriage, Adam and Eve’s, and
it describes for us what marriage was intended to be by God. God placed these two
together in the Garden of Eden and gave them to each other. They belonged to one
another. They were a part of each other, one flesh, literally.
This idea of being one flesh meant that they were united in all things, that they
shared all things in common and that they were so close that they had as much concern
for each other as they did for themselves.
I Corinthians 7:3-4 echoes this idea of belonging to one another.
READ I Corinthians 7:3-4.
When we wed we no longer belong to ourselves, we no longer have complete
control over our bodies but instead we give our bodies to each other as gifts. Paul was
speaking about sex in this context but the idea applies in more than just that area. We
belong to each other when married.
Our concern for each other should be as great as our concern for ourselves
because our mate is actually a part of us.
That is how God created us to be, part of each other, a unit, inseperable,
dedicated to meeting each other’s needs. That is what God had in mind in
READ Genesis 2:20-25.
That last phrase there, "They were naked and they felt no shame."
That is what God had in mind for marriage, not just physically but in all ways.
This verse describes the fact that Adam and Eve were innocent of evil before
they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They were sinless and had no
conception of what evil was.
This verse also describes the relationship these two had. They were completely
open with one another. They hid nothing. They were open and honest. The buzzword
that describes this today is transparent. They could see through each other, had nothing
to hide, and were open and honest about what they thought.
This verse describes how we are to relate to our mates today.
Adam and Eve were one flesh. They were one person, not two.
This type of openness and inhibition is God’s plan for marriage. Being comfortable
enough with each other to be completely open.
In order to have this type of openness there must be complete trust. That, I think,
is what these scriptures boil down to for each one of us: trust. We must trust our mates
implicitly if we are to have the kind of marriage that Adam and Eve had, one in which they
could be naked and not ashamed, transparent, completely at home with each other,
Adam and Eve trusted each other and were thus not ashamed.
How can we have this kind of marriage; one in which we are not ashamed to open ourselves
up to one another?
THESIS: We can have Godly marriages by building trust in each other. We build that
trust by: being faithful to each other; accepting each other even with our faults; and
by showing love to each other.
I. Be faithful. Don’t break your mate’s trust in you. It is impossible to repair.
A woman from Ky tells this story. After directory assistance gave
me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked.
"He’s in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend phoned," I said and hung up.
When he didn’t call back, I dialed again.
This time a man answered. "This is Mike."
"You’re not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.
"I know" he replied, "That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife for the past
A. Prevalence of unfaithfulness.
1. The 1990 Kinsey Report states that around 50% of all married
people will commit adultery during their lifetime.
a. The number is usually about 5% higher among men.
b. Women are less likely to commit adultery but not by much.
2. Some other studies propose even higher numbers than the ones given
above claiming that the adultery rate is around 70%.
a. I find that number hard to believe.
b. I don’t think it is 70% and I find the 50% number a little hard
to swallow as well.
c. Whatever the number it is too high.
3. An article in a 1997 issue of Newsweek magazine noted that various
surveys suggest that as many as 30 percent of male Protestant
ministers have had sexual relationships with women other than
4. The Journal of Pastoral Care in 1993 reported a survey of Southern Baptist pastors in which 14 percent acknowledged they had engaged
in "sexual behavior inappropriate to a minister."