Summary: Have you ever thought what would have happened if Noah had stopped the work on the Ark for ONLY six months, while he tried to better his community????? He and his family would have been lost.... AND you and I would not be around!!!!
Here is some football theology compiled from several reference works including the ‘Religious Broadcasting’ magazine.
Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Bench warmer - Those who do not sing, pray or work. Apparently they do nothing but sit.
Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
Blocking - Standing inside the church door complaining to the pastor about the sermon.
Extra point - What you receive when you tell the preacher the sermon was too short.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Fumble - A lousy sermon.
Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation to skip the service.
Halftime - The period between Sunday School and Worship when many choose to leave.
Illegal motion - Leaving before the benediction.
Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.
Quarterback sneak (in the first quarter) - Sunday School teachers entering the church building five minutes after Sunday School begins.
Quarterback Sneak (in the last quarter) - Worshipper quietly gets up during the invitation and sneaks out of church ahead of everybody.
Not to be confused with…
End Run - Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
Trap - You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
Two-minute Warning (from the preacher’s perspective) - The chairman of the board sitting in a front-row pew, taking a look at his watch in full view of the preacher.
Two-minute Warning (from the parishioner’s perspective) - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
"I’m going to do better this year!"
Ah! The first (and last) stanza of the
"New Year’s Anthem."
One of the many problems with self-improvement for Spiritual ends comes in that we must reach within ourselves for the recourses for that improvement. The human mind has only one tool for self-improvement and that is reformation.
If you are going to have reformation.., THEN you must know what you are going to reform. Right?!?! Therefore, we must look into our past life to see what we can reform. Alas, alas!! With careful examination of our past, we find that it is in bad shape.
If we are going to build a better structure, on such an out-of-line past foundation, we have a BIG problem! Therefore the best of human logic kicks in. The better structure MUST be built on a better foundation, because the foundation is ALL IMPORTANT. Therefore, we must clean-up and fix-up the past.
Such logic makes GOOD sense, to the human mind. As a matter of fact, it is the ONLY sense that the human mind can foster, in this matter.
One of the MANY problems with such finite logic is that you CAN’T fix-up or clean-up the past. Even if your past is relatively good, from a human stand point, there is no way you can build a Spiritual life on that relatively good foundation.